What could this lead to?

OK, here we go again. Be prepared, get your popcorn and relax, if you can. Since the age of 10, my dad has been sexually abusing me. I told my nan because she was the only one I trusted... The only one I loved. In the last 20 years or so, my mum has been drinking HEAVILY, and when I say that, I mean, extremely bad. She's done drugs, I smelt it. A few months after, my nan died. She's the only one that I love. I have no feelings for anyone else. Absolutely no one. My sisters are moaning at me constantly about crap I didn't even do. It depresses me. It really does. But I haven't got started yet. My house? Well, I wouldn't call it a house, a shed I'd say, more or less. Why? Let's see... Well, the back room is covered with dog droppings, so is my kitchen. so is everywhere. I can't even have a proper meal. What I have everyday is basically, break fast bar, school lunch, pot noodle. Yum! I can't even get fed because my mum is so lazy she can't be bothered to clean up. I hate her. No, seriously I do. I don't care if she was dead, I wouldn't even go to her funeral. She's an alcoholic, a sexually rude little s'lut, who only cares about herself, not her family. She's never been there for me, so why should I care now. First of all, I have seen her DILDO, naughty pictures on her phone, such as her self in 'sexy' lingerie, a naked man, and sexual texts. Same with my brother really, almost seen him masturbate, my other brother, saw him have sex with my sisters ex best friend. Great life... I told all this to my sister, want to know what she said? Kelsey, all the boys do that! Great inspiration Kay. You really cheered me up. No you fricking didn't! Like you and my other brothers, they can rot in hell! And when I stay at hers on the weekend, she tells me not to eat out the cupboards, well, sorry Kay, I know its my fault that my so called mum can't cook, just blame it on me. My brothers pick on me so much, it's unreal. I actually chased him around the house with a bamboo stick, trying to kill him. I can't even wash my school clothes because of the kitchen. They smell like dog! My family knows about this, but my mum doesn't know that they know. It's best kept that way for some reason. We don't want the family splitting apart again, they'd say. Well what difference would it make for me? My life's hell already, couldn't get any worse. But of course, its for you guys again, isn't it? Obviously. Anyway, I used to get bullied at school because of the way I smelt. Sad, isn't it? It seems, what ever I don't do, the blame gets put on me. Did I mention I've tried killing my self 9 times. Unfortunetly, it didn't work. Starting when I was 8, I tried killing my self with a butchers knife, the one of them really long knives. Then strangulation and suffocation. My mum is in a constant bad mood, and I can never talk to her about anything. She thinks I'm over reacting. 'Cause she's a good mum. No she's not and she'll never will be. The day my nan died, broke me. My great uncle just died, and because I've had too many days off school, my mum wont let me go to his funeral. Says she doesn't want welfare around. Well I do. You know mum, its not all about what you want, when you want it. She gets on my last nerve all the time, and one day, which is soon, I'm going to have enough and lash out at her. I don't care what people say. I have had enough. I'm so depressed, I can't sleep at night. I asked my mum for some sleeping tablets, now that I'm twelve, and she said ' Kelsey, that's a load of bob! I'm forty two and I can't sleep.' Oh sorry mum I forgot your world only revolves around you. If anybody else died in my family, apart from My 2 Aunties, Uncles, my nephew and my 2 sisters, I don't think I would really care. I would want to go to school, to miss they're funeral. I am sick of this. So sick.. She doesn't believe I'm depressed. None of them do. They always say, 'If you were in my shoes when I was younger..' Or, 'Well you don't know what I've been through'! No, no I don't. And you don't know what I've been through, either. Because you were never there, 'MUM'. Could this lead to fatal depression, or something?