A Recount of a Creepy Dream I Had Once (Whatever comes to mind just tell me haha)?

Question

Punctual holes of corks line my body
As I run my fingers across them they plunge into darkness
Holes from one side of me to another
Centimeters apart
Emptiness
As light shines through every inch
I come to the realization of touch
I feel the holes in me
Swiss cheese
Terror strikes me
The scene is replayed
Over and over
My hand running across my body
Corks unplugging from my flesh
Nothing but emptiness inside
The only thing in tact is my head
Which is numb
As if my entire body is paralyzed
Stuck by something I don't recognize
Fearful for what is next to come
Eyes open as I shutter at the feeling
I press my hand to my stomach and feel for the corks
Flat, whole, there
Sweating in relief, as it was just a dream

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm just glad you are posting poetry again.

Creepy is cool sometimes.

Did anyone ever tell you to put a cork in it? LOL TRAUMATIZING!

dgollub · Answer

The ending phrase is a nice twist.  But if it is not just a dream, you must have some waking intuition of what it means, maybe some felt lack in yourself.

Dominique · Answer

shudder, not shutter

intact, not in tact

Swiss cheese seems out of place with the other images---  I just kind of feel like it stops the poem right there as you think about cheese, food etc.

"terror strikes me"  maybe you can think of an image that conveys that in a fresh way-  flooded with stark terror, flushed with fear, shaken by fear

hello · Answer

Interesting...I think on the 6th line from the bottom you should use struck, not stuck...But it's cool other than that!

maggikate · Answer

Fascinating, I like it.

dick · Answer

UMM....

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A Recount of a Creepy Dream I Had Once (Whatever comes to mind just tell me haha)?

6 Answers