How does one surrender and accept when they are not able to change the way things are?

You don't necessarily have to surrender, but as they say, acceptance is the first part of change.

We cannot change the way things are, we can only change our reaction.

If you have the ability to move on, I would suggest you do so. Put it behind you. If not, change how you react to it.

It is not that anything in and of itself is either good or bad, but our reaction to it which makes it so.

Relax. I know, better than most, how much easier that is to say than it is to do, but still; Relax. Stress and Tension bind you up till you can't think clearly and should not accept or surrender, Relax.

The real trick is determining what things are changeable and which are not. Sooner or later, you'll know. If after a while you still cannot tolerate the unchangeable, surrender then gracefully, or turn and walk away.

How will you know what you can change, or what you might find acceptable, till you try?

dw

Surrender itself means unconditional, without any caveats. It is not to change things, but you are submitting yourself to a higher power. Now we know that, and is what we might aim, but short term it won't pacify the heart. Chanting the name or Lord continuously is itself surrender, it is surrender with the tongue. That we can do. Chanting is prayer also, you need not pray separately.

Pick a name of Lord according to your faith (if none,then chant the magic word "Rama" continuously for 5mins without a break) and see how things change!

I am not at the how but at the when does one... For some things I have reached the how. In that instance I just accept the truth, face the truth, and go on with living. If I can't change it what choice do I have?

one way would be to stop trying. if you cant change the situation, then stop trying, your life has more pressing matters. in time, the acceptance will come. it also kinda depends on the situation. some situations seem unchangable, but are. if its a dangerous situation, get help from as many people as you can trust. dont be afraid to do something new, after all, the old stuff isnt working, or else it would have changed...

i don't agree with kal about the unconditional thing,otherwise there is no need to add the word unconditional to the word surrender to indicate an unconditional one.one might not surrender,but still accept.things can always be changed- if you can't change a fact or situation, you can always change your perspective or your reaction to it.

all things are neutral they are coloured by the way you look at things. they can be positive or negative, your choice. remember: there is always a choice, not making one is another.

I have found that it is possible to change things, even though it might be ever so slightly and even if the change is only in your mind and perception of the situation. Have done that in the past, though it is difficult, it's doable...

Still tiring to figure that out my self....