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Not sure how to handle this anymore. Fed up.?

I work 40 plus hr per week or more. When I get home I babysit for my Grand baby 5 out of 7 days. I do all the housework. cook, clean, laundry, I am the one who shovels the driveway. I also help with the wood stove and bringing the wood in.

Here's my problem my husband never helps me do anything all he does is fill up the stove when needed and sometime brings wood in. That's it he will not even offer to watch the baby so I can shower. I am just sick of it. I will be mopping the floor and he will walk over it to go lay down. I know he works also but he always has time to stop off at the bar on the way home. and then when he gets home he is always tired or don't feel well.

I am not as young as I use to be and I can't keep up with everything anymore. I refuse to stop watching the baby because they have no one else and I cant stand the thought of her being with strangers. But she is not the problem anyway. I have asked my husband to help I have told him I need help and cant do it all. He just says ok and that's it. I am seriously thinking about just doing my stuff from now on my laundry, my meals and let him fend for himself. Any ideas on what I should do about this or how to get him to help? It has always been this way but like I said now I can't do it all anymore. plus it is worse at least he use to do man things around the house. He doesn't even do that now.

Update:

I tried leaving him and his Mom did everything for him while I was gone. The reason I had to come back is because of money. I cant make it on my own with what I am making rite now.

9 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Guys are dense sometimes. I'm afraid it will take baby steps and even then you've let it go on so long you may never get the help you want without always fighting and always begging. You have to be very specific with guys. Ask him to do each job one at a time. Don't pile them all on. Once he gets one done, you have to praise the heck out of him like he's a new puppy. I know it sounds petty, but a lot of times it works. You may even have to bribe him sometimes.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Okay you must ask yourself these questions: What is your husband good for? Does he bring anything at all to the relationship? Of what value is he at home? And most importantly,

    Are you still in love with him?

    If you're going to let him fend for himself, then do it right. Separate from him and make him move out!

    What are you keeping him around for? You can't get him to help, he chooses not to and that won't change. he is who he is, can you accept that and move forward, or is it time to let him go?

  • Al B
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You need to tell him that he has to start helping more or get out. When he comes home, ask him why he hasn't left yet. You need to file for a divorce because if he has always been this way and is getting worse, it will only continue to get worse. Perhaps when he gets the divorce papers he may decide that he better start helping more.

  • 1 decade ago

    Confront him, confront him, confront him confront him! He needs to know that you feel this way! Make him read your entry, tell him he needs to get a move on with his chores and if he doesn't, then he needs to get another life and understand that you can't do everything! I feel your pain because my dad is the same way and he needs to do somethings some times, too. Tell him that it's not the 1800's and woman can fight for themselves and they don't (SHOULDN'T) do everything! He's not fighting a war, he;s not looking for a job, tell him he needs to get his butt off of the chair and start helping with house chores! Tell him! and if he get's angry, then that's his problem, what's the worse he could do? Hit you? He shouldn't be THAT lazy. Just confront him and tell him everything and how you feel. I promise, it'll be OK. :)

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If I were in your shoes, and admittedly I'm not, I'd tell him from now on he could fix his own meals and wash his own clothes, that I was through being his slave or housemaid. That is, only if divorce was out of the question. If divorce was possible I'd divorce him in a New York second.

    Good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you just do your own things and let him fend for himself you will end up knee deep in slim. He will eat out of cans, rarely heating them up and not care about anything. You will soon cave because you can't stand the mess. Not much you can do about it.

  • 1 decade ago

    He is a big man, if he is not helping you out and you are disgusted then just go on "strike" and take care of what you have to take care of, sooner or later, he will get the pitcher and help you out. If not, then maybe you can go and live with your grand baby and help them out, at least they will respect you.

  • 5 years ago

    the straightforward answer right here could be, do not make plans with this woman. you already comprehend she's not likely to persist with by way of, so end putting your self as much as wind up with injury emotions. do not end being her pal, some acquaintances are greater appropriate dealt with once you refer to them while they call you, dangle out while they take place to dangle out with ya. additionally, you will make plans of your person, tell her the place you would be for if she desires to take place herself, and then.. circulate on which comprise your plans. Why sit down and be bored off your butt waiting, once you may a minimum of be having a competent time devoid of the unreliable pal?

  • rob d
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    diabetes causes fatigue. Avoid sugar.

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