Not sure how to handle this anymore. Fed up.?

Guys are dense sometimes. I'm afraid it will take baby steps and even then you've let it go on so long you may never get the help you want without always fighting and always begging. You have to be very specific with guys. Ask him to do each job one at a time. Don't pile them all on. Once he gets one done, you have to praise the heck out of him like he's a new puppy. I know it sounds petty, but a lot of times it works. You may even have to bribe him sometimes.

Okay you must ask yourself these questions: What is your husband good for? Does he bring anything at all to the relationship? Of what value is he at home? And most importantly,

Are you still in love with him?

If you're going to let him fend for himself, then do it right. Separate from him and make him move out!

What are you keeping him around for? You can't get him to help, he chooses not to and that won't change. he is who he is, can you accept that and move forward, or is it time to let him go?

You need to tell him that he has to start helping more or get out. When he comes home, ask him why he hasn't left yet. You need to file for a divorce because if he has always been this way and is getting worse, it will only continue to get worse. Perhaps when he gets the divorce papers he may decide that he better start helping more.

Confront him, confront him, confront him confront him! He needs to know that you feel this way! Make him read your entry, tell him he needs to get a move on with his chores and if he doesn't, then he needs to get another life and understand that you can't do everything! I feel your pain because my dad is the same way and he needs to do somethings some times, too. Tell him that it's not the 1800's and woman can fight for themselves and they don't (SHOULDN'T) do everything! He's not fighting a war, he;s not looking for a job, tell him he needs to get his butt off of the chair and start helping with house chores! Tell him! and if he get's angry, then that's his problem, what's the worse he could do? Hit you? He shouldn't be THAT lazy. Just confront him and tell him everything and how you feel. I promise, it'll be OK. :)

If I were in your shoes, and admittedly I'm not, I'd tell him from now on he could fix his own meals and wash his own clothes, that I was through being his slave or housemaid. That is, only if divorce was out of the question. If divorce was possible I'd divorce him in a New York second.

Good luck

If you just do your own things and let him fend for himself you will end up knee deep in slim. He will eat out of cans, rarely heating them up and not care about anything. You will soon cave because you can't stand the mess. Not much you can do about it.

He is a big man, if he is not helping you out and you are disgusted then just go on "strike" and take care of what you have to take care of, sooner or later, he will get the pitcher and help you out. If not, then maybe you can go and live with your grand baby and help them out, at least they will respect you.

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