Give my poem a read, and try to give a title.?

Question

Oh how your beauty cuts,
how your voice en-trembles,
longing for you tortures,
and your rare touches sweet.
 
Thoughts of you fill the cavity in me with bliss,
but the things to come fill it with a sadness,
how i wish for your caress,
but yet, fear it for the pain it can bear.
 
To run, or not to run,
from this sweet honey-like nightmare,
for you are the beauty of the sun,
yet the danger of a snare.

there, tell me what you think. DON'T EVEN THINK OF HOLDING BACK THE CRITICISM. please don't hold back. And try to give me a title please, i can't seem to make one up that fits.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am feeling the need to ask you if English is your native tongue? You have such creative phrasing, great imagery, 
'To run, or not to run,
from this sweet honey-like nightmare,
for you are the beauty of the sun,
yet the danger of a snare.'

but your syntax in the first two stanzas is confusing, and I only wanted to know that I can help more efficiently. You have the makings of a very good poet.

Emma harmon · Answer

I would pick a tile something like "The Nightmare of Love" or just something like "Beauty Cuts"

Anonymous · Answer

I like most poems I read.Different style of writing.Nice.

I have no idea what to give you as a title.Because,I never
put any for my own.

nilescclover · Answer

um......it was pretty good. as for title how about how Beauty cuts. 
most poets had no title or the first line was the title.

Anonymous · Answer

i realy like this poem

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Give my poem a read, and try to give a title.?

5 Answers