What is a kinship care reference?

its just a personal reference as to his opinion as to whether she'd be a good person to raise someone elses child. He should be totally honest. But if he gives a bad reference they will do one of 2 things. Tear that one up up figuring an ex husband would be bitter and therefore biased. And have her get a different person for a reference. Or they could just say she cannot have custody. They will ask if she is good with children, does she have any abusive tendencies, alcohol or drug issues, etc. And they ask if he would ever trust her to watch his kids.

Kinship care means just what it sounds like - the Kin provide the care (not an adoption). It is proven that children do best when 1. raised by their parent(s); 2. raised by a family member/fictive kin (like family); and 3. a stranger to the family. The idea that this woman was not a particularly good mother to her own children does not speak to that she may have changed - and perhaps not. At the same time, it is almost always (except in rare circumstances) preferable to have a child remain with family. For the sake of the child, your husband should have a conversation with his ex - ask some questions, then decide if he is willing to provide a reference or not.

It really depends on who is asking for the reference and for what purposes. At times when social services is looking for a placement with a child, they will ask for references to judge the safety of a placement. It is more and more common for social services agencies to look to relative caregivers or kinship care providers vs. placing a child in a foster home. Similar rules may apply for the kin provider but the child gets the benefit of living with someone he or she knows and that knows them. While your husband may choose not to give this reference for personal reasons, the opportunity this provides for the child can be huge. Have his ex look to see if there are any support services to help her parent the child to help augment her parenting skills.

The reference would be about her her home, her character, and would ask something about how she is with children. Nothing would happen if he didn't give a reference, she'd just have to provide someone else for a reference.

Just because one isn't good at parenting doesn't mean the same will happen when a grandchild is born. The best grandparent were the worst to their own children, and some grandparents were horrible at being grandparents, but good with their own children.

It does sound a little messed up, but what I think, is people react if they feel if they have to do it over again.