How can I get my man to help me more around the house?

Well this is often the problem, girls feel more at home when they do the housework. Then later they get frustrated about doing the house work.

There are several issues that need to addressed

1. How much house work should be done (some people feel they need to clean more than others)

2. Distrubution of labour.

3. Labour saving devices.

For example, he doesn't think too much house work should be done, so if you choose not to do it, he won't mind too much. (My friend is really messy, and her boyfriend does all the cleaning, she has one room set aside in the house to messy in).

Are you sure the labour is unfair....you have to think about things like mowing the lawn or fixing things, along with cooking and shopping. Maybe your man does less each evening, but more on the weekends (look carefully at the balance).

Maybe if things were more efficient or organised, such as having a dishwasher, or organising the house so things are easier to put away.

You can only resolve this issue by talking about it. I would suspect he wouldn't want to do housework every day, but perhaps he could do one big job every week (like vacumming etc).

Sounds as though he does more than many men. Does he also work, buy presents, fix household items and cars? There are all sorts of ways people divide up jobs in a relationship. It's easy to allow some scheming friend to plant the seeds of dissatisfaction about your man being "lazy", then steal him after the inevitable rows. And when you read about all these ideal relationships in the magazines, have a thought about the embittered screwed up journalist that wants everyone else's relationships to go the way of theirs by encouraging women to have unrealistic expectations. If you don't agree of course, you could always leave, but don't be surprised when he gets stolen from you. A lot of women like a good cook who also is tolerant to loads of nagging.

Good luck!

Well, if he is doing the cooking that is more than some men do. My advice would be to stop doing so much yourself. Just let things get a bit messy. Either he will start cleaning up more, or if he doesn't, at least you will be less tired. And don't clean up after him. Laura Doyle, in The Surrendered Wife, says "Never do anything for a man that he could do for himself." Let him clean up his own mess, or else just leave it.

go visit your mother in law. have lunch and spend some time together. take a good look. this is what you will become after eighteen years of cleaning up after her son.

then, you might sit down at a table with your guy and act like modern adults. grab a sheet of paper, and list out all the jobs necessary to run a household. divide the work up. simple. if this doesn't work, call the mother in law and find out where she buys those frumpy dresses and ugly shoes so that you can fully take on her role.

First, don't do everything yourself. You're just spoiling him.

Second, if you both have different meanings for "clean" and "need to be done NOW", talk about this, and make concessions.

Once you make this concessions, stick to them. If he says he will do the laundry on Friday, and hasn't don it by Saturday, tell him that that was a mutual decision, and you need him to respect it. DON'T DO IT YOURSELF.

A bit of conditioning works. Give him a treat when he does something good. That'll motivate him.

Remember that concessions means the house won't be as neat as you wanted, but cleaner than now.

Hope it helps =)

Make up a chore chart split the chores in half (you do half, he does half) give him an assigned list of chores to do each day, give him a little smiley face sticker or star sticker when he completes each task. Stickers can be exchanged for play time after a week.

If he doesn't do his chores, take away his tv/computer/ipod/cell phone..

If he's going to act like a child, treat him as such.

you said you both work, but do you both share the burden of the bills to pay for the house equally?

if your answer is yes, then he should definitely help you out more, stop doing what you are doing and force him to see all that you do for the two of you.

if you both work but he pays all the bills or the majority of them, then well maybe you should keep doing what your doing, but try to put a smile on your face while doing it. after all, he is keeping you from homelessness

if you both work and you pay all the bills or the majority of them, then make him realize this and if he refuses to help you out, or take over full responsibility, then get rid of him, make him see that you are the one keeping a roof over his head.

Promise him a bj if he picks up after himself! lol

Seriously, I have been in this situation, and its not good.

Just tell him, that he must help you around the house, even if he just picked up after himself it would be a massive contribution.

Go on to explain to him that if he does help around the house, then you will have more time to relax with him, and that you cant relax with him whilst living in a pig sty.

these are womans jobs, anything he does is a bonus, before you lesbians thumb me down how many of you honestly change the oil in the car etc or lay some heavy slabs in the back garden etc even when shopping how many woman carry the heavy bag and give the man the light or no bags

if he hasn't done so so far, he knows you are going to do it...

so why should he bother, you got it covered.

DO NOT do the housework for awhile, only do your laundry,

only clean up after yourself,

make it so he realizes how much work is involved...