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United States of Genocide...?
Black and white
Lay right down
Hang around
Kiss the ground
Escalate
Initiate
Line up single file
Don't wanna waste led
Right through the head
The belly of the beast
Stomach of the victim
Your not the only one who bled
Count!
Says the jailer
Lives measured
In stacks of paper
Gold is treasured
More so than blood
Sit down
Submit
Kiss the ground
Don't make a sound
Submit
Leave them be
Their time has come
Just let them go
Turn your back
Its only a picture
Look away
Its only a video
Close your eyes
Its all lies
Your day will come
Don't be surprised
When you stare into a barrel
Into their eyes
Grief stricken
Why am I in these shoes?
Why am I so lucky?
Why am I so blessed with light?
What could one person do?
Get up...
And fight...
2 Answers
- H SLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I would lose one or two of the lines that basically repeat the thought of the previous line. For example, you could lose 'Turn your back / it's only a picture'.
For once, I think the short lines work, and you have a strong sense of rhythm - not that you couldn't tighten that up a bit.
It reminds me a little of Adrian Mitchell's poem 'Tell Me Lies About Vietnam' - which is worth looking out for. There may well be a youtube clip of him performing it. It also reminds me a little of a thing that Patti Smith once did, which I think was more recent than Vietnam (she's been around long enough!) which starts with the Declaration of Independence ... there are clips on Youtube but the best version is the one from the documentary film by / about her.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-409261838...
http://www.filmcritic.com/reviews/2008/patti-smith...
found the Mitchell clip
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Dude, the very fact that Peter Rabbit finds this interesting is funny :)
I like this as a rap, not as a poem. Give it a good beat and chorus and you'll be off, I like!
