What do you do when your spouse keeps rehashing old issues?

Try sympathizing with him and say, "You know I've been thinking about how much you liked that old car and I think you should get a new project car to work on." Also, go camping with him soon to establish a good memory of using it instead of the resentment he currently associating with it. You have to create a new memory to replace an old one. Take a few books with you so you feel you have something you enjoy out there. it doesn't have to be far away or for a long time.. just one night.. in the driveway! Really it doesn't matter.. let him pick the place.

If he is still being a butt about his old car and going camping and getting a new project won't help, tell him he can keep being upset about it but please keep it to himself because you offered all the help you can think of and there is nothing there can be done about it and it's bringing you down.

Because he keeps dwelling on it, he wants you to be miserable too. This is THREE years ago, that is too long to be hung up anything negative. You must stay positive for your own sanity. Next time he says something that is irrational, instead of trying to say something back to explain something to help him understand (I told him that I love the theatre and books but he doesn't. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him.), just say "wow, what you just said, ( a rant on how I HATE camping and he LOVES camping and I HATE everything outdoors and he LOVES the outdoors) really hurt my feelings." See how he reacts to that. You may be surprised!

Question? Did he ask or tell you that he was buying the camper or did he just sell the car and purchased the camper without being sure that you thought it would be a good idea?

If he asked you, that would have opened the door for conversations about how the camper would be used and how often the two of you thought you'd be able to get away. It would have been an opportunity for you to express that you're not all that interested in camping and the burden to still purchase it would be on him.

If he didn't ask you before purchasing it, it's not your fault and he's just mad that he can't utilize the camper as often as he'd like and no one else is around to blame. We always fight with the one that's closest to us.

Try and suprise him with a camping idea, just to show him that you're willing to work this out with him. You come up with the plans and what you'd like to do on the outting and leave the ball in his court. If he continues to gripe about it, then it may be something else that's eating at him. You do know that men will start to pick fights with you when they're not happy about something instead of just coming right out with it.

he sounds like a childish little kid. you need to tell him to get over it and grow up. you didn't twist his arm and make him sell his car to buy a travel trailer did you? of course not. he did that because HE loved camping, obviously more then he did his car or else the car would be there and the camper would not. tell him that he has no one to blame for that but himself. you should also tell him that it is also not your fault that he has not been able to camp more, how can you take off camping if you have no time to take off from work? good grief! this guy really needs a reality check. if it were me i would point these facts out to him 1 more time, and i would tell him straight up that he is not going to continue acting stupid and taking it all out on you because of things that are all of HIS own doing. and if he continues to keep grumbling and whinning about it like a little baby then tell him if he wants to use the camper more then maybe he should move in to the damn thing permanantly. honestly, it drives me nuts when a man acts like a big baby, and wants to blame a woman because he had to grow up and let go of childish things so that he can be a man and act like an adult. poor baby lost his little car, and is mad cause he don't get to go camping..lmao!! see how childish that sounds? good luck to you honey, you have your hands full there..

This is an easy fix. Tell him to sell the camper and get a new car to restore. Put it all in his hands. My husband has had classic cars since before we married. This is a passion for him and I would never dream of telling him to get rid of the one of his greatest pleasures. We go to car show together and sunday drives are some of out best times together. Compromise my dear and life will be a lot more peaceful and him being in the garage leaves you reading time.

I have a similar problem with my wife, but on different issues.

There is so much beauty in our past that brought us together; things, moments, laughs, jokes, friends, and of course the adversities of life, that renders negative every things that all of us, and all marriages go through at some point in time.

The fundamental problem, is how do we get one to focus on the really good things and ignore the bad things?

In your case, and this may seem odd too, but in Reno, Nevada the first weekend in August there is a General Conference, of old cars, nothing newer than 1969, called "Hot August Nights" where all the old car buffs from Southern Canada, and the Western U.S. congregate to tell their stories, play all the old songs on the radio and Cruz in the old cars all night long.

I never owned an old car so for me it was taking pictures all day and all night, very little sleep, to capture those neatest cars on film; then mix and blend the pictures on video with the old car songs so I could share my feelings with others.

Back to the question. Perhaps, a vacation to Reno, Nevada in August would build memories of good things, about old cars, and the garbage that lies below the beautiful park, will not be dug up so much as to destroy the beauty of the park and the beauty of some many good times in life.

Contact me through Little Billy, and e-mail with your mailing address if you would like a free DVD of old cars in Reno, Nevada.

Well you husband like most man just want the women they love to support there interest. Future reference if he is going to buy any thing you don't want to take part in tell him no. The camping trailer is a big step, could yall have gone camping without the trailer.

He knows he messed up. In his mind, it's easier to blame you than man up about these results.

Bring up some solutions. Plan camping trips, schedule them. Suggest he sell the trailer and put the money towards another car he would enjoy. Let him know that if he wants to continue the blame game, you'll discontinue the conversation and leave the immediate area until he can learn to control himself.

You both need couples counseling to resolve the issue for good!

He is the one who decided to sell his car, you didn't force the issue or did you?

Sell the trailer & he can get another car as his hobby again!

Get counseling & good luck!

I suggest selling the camper and instead, purchasing something that you are BOTH really interested in. Suggest this to him next time he brings up the issue again. See what he says.

I started to cut my husband off when he did that...yup, right in the middle of his sentence...

Something along the lines of...Enough! What's done is done and can't be undone. I refuse to rehash this issue with you anymore.

Then walk away!

Repeat as needed...once he figures out that you won't go there anymore and it's a futile effort to bring it up - he'll stop.