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Thomas
Lv 4
Thomas asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Shredded Hope... (Comment / Critique)?

Indigo concrete

Lining Main Street

Light breathes

Shadows cut

Eyes shut

As I lay

Cold and tense

Looking through

Like I'm in suspense

Glancing to

The shaky stars and beyond

Shimmering

On this dim lit night

Clutching misty grass

Afraid

From falling into space

My heart now pounds

As shadows interlace

And darkness surrounds me

I claw at the earth

As it drags me into oblivion

Eyes open

Light is smothered

I stare into black

A gaping hole in my chest

As my heart is devoured

Suffocating in utter shock

Hollowed out

I walk about

Moving my feet

On Indigo concrete

Lining Main street

Obsolete

And incomplete...

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Very well-structured poem. I really love it when you post your work.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow...amazing imagery and creative integration of words to create meaning!

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