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Shredded Hope... (Comment / Critique)?
Indigo concrete
Lining Main Street
Light breathes
Shadows cut
Eyes shut
As I lay
Cold and tense
Looking through
Like I'm in suspense
Glancing to
The shaky stars and beyond
Shimmering
On this dim lit night
Clutching misty grass
Afraid
From falling into space
My heart now pounds
As shadows interlace
And darkness surrounds me
I claw at the earth
As it drags me into oblivion
Eyes open
Light is smothered
I stare into black
A gaping hole in my chest
As my heart is devoured
Suffocating in utter shock
Hollowed out
I walk about
Moving my feet
On Indigo concrete
Lining Main street
Obsolete
And incomplete...
2 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Very well-structured poem. I really love it when you post your work.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Wow...amazing imagery and creative integration of words to create meaning!