My Tsunami poem.......c/c?

Technical first - how do you do it? Syllables perfect count - and the rhymes, smooth. Trying to count syllables and watching the rhyme scheme utterly destroys any meaningful content I might have - but here you are -

amazing content, no cliches, original. The last line is profound and leaves me musing on Time and the fleeting amount we are really here on this tumultuous Earth.

The news said the whole of Japan moved in the ocean to a different place, 8 feet difference I think they said. The quake shifted the Earth's axis.

I got the same sense while watching those incredible events...I think you're right.

The only stumbling block I came across was the 'anoint full-force', anointing is more of a soft action usually done with oil in a religious ceremony, the line will work with a little change to something like ' anoints with force' .

I love the trick you played in line six...how the 'natures face' links to both the preceding and next line, yet says two entirely different things .

Would love to see a . after 'nature weaves', just so we can digest what you've said, but that might be crossing an artistic line.

As usual a great read.  

It's so divesting what's happened in Japan, I sorta wish I were there, since I have relatives missing, in the hospital, homeless, or in shelters, and I know of a friend who has died already. Even seeing footage of it makes me overwhelmed that I use to live there and It totally got destroyed. The hard part about it is I can't get ahold of people in japan because the service is messed up.... I hope things clear up. And I like your poem! Nature has some mysterious ways....

Great structures tumbled, rich houses humbled

Cars, trucks, boats and even airplanes

City once robust, now in vast shambles

A people with hope now in great pain.

A nuclear smoke, dark fire and debris

A thousand dead and more counting

Is hope alive for an uprooted tree

Nature’s support won’t soon be coming.

The ring of fire shall burn us all

From Asia to California,

Blood in our hands, and Nature’s toll

Smog and greed, man’s fatal mania.

Your poem is beautiful and thought provoking. We all deal with trauma in different ways, but with poetry we can help others put to words their feelings enabling them to deal with their troubles. I especially like how your poem towards the end, talks about moving on.

You should enter it into a contest or a newspaper, etc.

Blessedly astoundin Sin. I answered to one this mornin, so I won't repeat my answer now, but you show, how fragile we really are. Absolutely profound this.

I will say this much though, I'm warmed to see others postin about what is.

Our species will deny

What the Earth will re-claim

in futures undreamed

the Mother will allow

new generations

to crawl and fly.

What an effortless read, each line perfectly staging the next... Vivid, alarming, and smooth, like the storm itself.

Brilliant

adjusting outlook, Nature's face--yes that is just what nature does. Great poem.

I really like your action words. I think your punctuation needs a little fixing. I'm not entirely sure what the last line means.

I have been watching Sin,

....'no soothing balm'..

we have seen this to be true

shock waves...released

to unimagined horror...

yet

again.