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pat
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pat asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Is this poem worthy of anything?

Don’t.

I want you to come back you know,

but don’t.

I want you to laugh again and pull me in,

but don’t.

I want to feel the breath of you on my neck

and the taste of you on my tongue,

but don’t.

I want you to come back,

but don’t.

I don’t want to send you away again and I will.

Update:

You are right.. and I will is redundant. It is gone!

thanks

this is why we post.. no?

Update 2:

Andie Thank you.. I appreciate your ro response and would like to know why you feel it is unworthy.

Update 3:

You are right.. and I will is redundant. It is gone!

thanks

this is why we post.. no?

Update 4:

I don't know how the edit got posted twice ... sorry!

Update 5:

good! but...is gone too. Thanks..

and your right Andie these are ancient themes but you boredom have given me another idea.. I will re invent this thing.. Thanks everybody..

Update 6:

you are right! ...and I will... is redundant.. its gone!.

thanks.. this is why we post.. No?

3 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    no.

    it's just been tried too much and the idea behind it has worn thin.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I hate the word but in front of don't

    I think it's been said before by so many chemical love, and it should fade away instead of passions obsession taking it over.

  • Klaingar R
    1 decade ago

    Yeah, it's good. It conveys your feelings pretty well.

    I think you could do without the "and I will" at the end. But that is just my opinion

    Or maybe get it to the next line and put but I will

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