Regarding my 4 year-old who won't nap or sleep?

First of all, if your 4 year old needs a nap then there's absolutely no problem with letting him nap. That being said, if he's sleeping during the nap and then fighting bed time, it's possible he doesn't need the nap. Try keeping him awake during a whole day for several days in a row, and see if he's tired at bedtime. Is he clingy, or does he just not want to sleep? If he's aware of your situation (as children are very smart when it comes to things like that) then he may be nervous that one or both of you won't be there when he wakes up. Reassure him that you both love him and that will never change, and maybe sit with him while he falls asleep. Instead of the TV, have a small night light or leave the hall light on and his door cracked. Give him one toy to sleep with, because any more than that and he could easily be playing with them in his head. Make sure his bedtime ritual is the same every night. Good luck!

wow! still taking a nap at 4? Sounds like you need to cut the nap out, mine havnt taken a nap since they were 2, that and make sure he is getting a lot of running around in during the day... but def cut out the nap, if my 4 yr olds take a nap in the car or something its like hell getting them to go to bed at night

Usually at 4 they don't need a nap during the day. Maybe he needs more physical activity during the day, I'd monitor his sugar intake as well.

just lock em in the room for an hour or so they will sleep i always do it with my 1yr old