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Is this poem good? If not, what can I change?
This is just a poem for English class, but I put a fair amount of work into it and liked how it turned out.
What am I?
I am a purple oval rolling through life,
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always moving forward.
I am a spelunker, trying to decide which of the passageways before me
will take me where I want to go.
I am a car, trying to speed up and slow down in the same instant,
while being told to stay where I am.
I am a traveler arriving at a crossroads,
searching for a signpost
but realizing there isn’t one to be found.
I am a fluorescent light bulb—bright, but quirky.
I am a lone hiker on the trail:
I drift from group to group
yet always end up going my own direction.
I am the elevator music that tries to be please everyone
but is soon forgotten.
I am Yellowstone, known for one thing
but comprised of many others.
I am a loaded die; I have many faces
but always show the same ones
to the same people.
I am Denali, my true colors occasionally revealed,
but normally concealed amid mist and fog.
I am a child, knowing few of life’s hardships and struggles,
though always willing to appreciate its joys.
I am a baby bird sitting in the nest,
wanting to taste the freedom of the skies,
but afraid to jump.
I am a seed.
though protected and nurtured for years,
I need space to grow and blossom.
I am the sun on the horizon,
waiting to rise.
2 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Yeah it's good, but you've got to get rid of that first stanza. It's overload, and the imagery isn't as good as the last ones.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I know its no help, but you shouldnt ask people what to change in your poem. its yours.