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Is this poem good? If not, what can I change?

This is just a poem for English class, but I put a fair amount of work into it and liked how it turned out.

What am I?

I am a purple oval rolling through life,

sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always moving forward.

I am a spelunker, trying to decide which of the passageways before me

will take me where I want to go.

I am a car, trying to speed up and slow down in the same instant,

while being told to stay where I am.

I am a traveler arriving at a crossroads,

searching for a signpost

but realizing there isn’t one to be found.

I am a fluorescent light bulb—bright, but quirky.

I am a lone hiker on the trail:

I drift from group to group

yet always end up going my own direction.

I am the elevator music that tries to be please everyone

but is soon forgotten.

I am Yellowstone, known for one thing

but comprised of many others.

I am a loaded die; I have many faces

but always show the same ones

to the same people.

I am Denali, my true colors occasionally revealed,

but normally concealed amid mist and fog.

I am a child, knowing few of life’s hardships and struggles,

though always willing to appreciate its joys.

I am a baby bird sitting in the nest,

wanting to taste the freedom of the skies,

but afraid to jump.

I am a seed.

though protected and nurtured for years,

I need space to grow and blossom.

I am the sun on the horizon,

waiting to rise.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yeah it's good, but you've got to get rid of that first stanza. It's overload, and the imagery isn't as good as the last ones.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I know its no help, but you shouldnt ask people what to change in your poem. its yours.

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