Is it appropriate to ask guests to bring food to a wedding?

i would be totally fine with it, but then it is common in my area.

i would call each invitee on the phone and ask them, try to assign dishes. out of towners can get the chips, if they are willing.

you need to provide wedding cake and punch, drinks, ice.

We aren't having Mommy and Daddy fork over thousands for our wedding either, let me start by saying that. Secondly, gifts are optional and no, everyone does not create a registry and presume they will get gifts. What you need to do is speak with close family about this. I think it's okay to ask CLOSE family if they would mind preparing some food for the wedding. Then on your invites, you mention nothing of gifts, registries, food donations etc. Just send an invite. It's likely people will contact you and ask if you have a registry or what you would like for a gift. At that point you say "Wow how thoughtful! we really don't need any gifts or home items. If you really want to bring something, my family is making food for the reception and we could use side dishes." Now it would be very rude to ask these people to make a specific side dish. Please don't do that. You can suggest salad, fruit salad, casserole, drinks, a starch item, etc. but =f you want greene bean salad specifically you need to make it yourself. I am going to be honest that I HATE potluck receptions. If you cannot afford to feed 75 people, I think you should cut back the guest list or have an afternoon wedding and serve crackers and cheese, fruit, olives, finger foods etc. To ask guests to get all dressed up, travel all the way out AND worry about bringing food and keeping cold or hot? I think there are better ways to make your wedding food affordable. Cake and punch reception beld early afternoon works too.

The issue isn't cost comparisons between green bean casserole and a place setting! You're missing the whole point.

In certain situations, it can be ok to do this. It's never ideal, but if people are on a small budget AND the wedding is small AND this is ok per the local culture or traditions (which isn't the norm)...then it can work. But you sound silly saying you're on a tight budget and you're inviting 75 people. This is a bigger size wedding.

Potlucks were meant to be for smaller groups. The logistics on feeding 75 aren't easy, and someone would have to spend a fair amount of time making sure your guests have a nice menu. You don't want 7 crockpots of baked beans and 30 bags of chips. Even if you restrict this to just family doing the cooking, unless someone has experience cooking for a group this large, it has the potential to be a nightmare. Who's responsible for ice, condiments, etc?

You seem to want to argue that this is ok and will work, but we're not the ones you need to convince. Obviously, you're free to do what you want. But people are answering truthfully, and there has to be a reason you asked in the first place.

It's fine if you don't want gifts (and there is a tactful way to deal with that by word of mouth) but you can't just "transfer" your gifts card into side dishes. It is no different than saying "instead of a gift, I'd really rather you give me ___".

Also it isn't yourbusiness to do them some favor by only spending 10-15 dollars. Believe me, when your guests feel dread at being asked to put together a jello salad, find a way to keep it cool, retrieve their Tupperware after which is all dirty and stinky, you are doing them no favors.

Bottom line, the reception is YOUR responsibility. You should plan for and invite only those guests you can afford. If your guests wish to bring you gifts, you accept graciously whatever it is, but you do not ask them what to bring you.

PS. Your last comment about mommy and daddy forking out thousands of dollars will not win you any sympathy here. All of brides here who are putting on tasteful receptions are doing it thoughtfully, on a budget, and they are not asking their guests to essentially foot a large part of their food cost. You seem to have a lot of rationales why you are entitled to do this, but many others are in the same position as you.

Sorry, nope. A potluck reception is only appropriate during rationing or if the wedding is sudden because one of the couple is in the military and being posted right away or if the couple is still in high school. If you don't have the money, you have cake and coffee.

Talk to your local grocery store deli. They can often come up with a meal for very reasonable prices. Since it's a state park, you have no means to keep things hot, so sandwiches and fruit may be a better choice.

Your invitation should make no reference to gifts at all.

Asking guests to bring food is certainly out of the ordinary and would generally be considered rude. You don't really need a lot of sides for this type of gathering. Potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans. That's about it. You just need enough to serve 75 people. So few dishes but lots of it. Instead of asking guests in general to bring food, get just a handful of people (family members and/or especially close friends) to provide the sides. Better yet, instead of roasting a pig (very expensive), do a cheaper meat. Hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken. And that will provide the extra money to purchase the sides. The one's I've mentioned can be easily purchased from the deli section of any grocery store.

I would limit who you ask. It would be okay to ask the members of your family to each bring a dish, but I wouldn't ask every single guest.

I attended a small church when I was a child and all the women of the church would bring a covered dish to wedding receptions that were held there. They considered it part of their ministry as Christians. But the brides did not ask every guest to bring a dish.

If you are able to get enough food for 75 this way, great. If you don't think you can, then scale down the menu and just serve cake, punch and heavy hors d'ouevres.

That sounds great can I come and I'll bring some rice salad, that roast pig sounds really tempting. I wouldn't have a problem with that for a close friend or family member but some people would. You need to sit down and look at your guest list figure out who you are close enough to and who wouldn't get upset and ask them. You also need to consider how they are going to get the sides to the event and when they can make them so out of town guests are going to struggle with that. I hope you have a great day. It actually used to be the norm for everyone to just chip in with a dish to celebrate.

As the host and hostess of any event, most especially YOUR wedding, it is your responsibility to provide the chairs, the tables, the table settings, the silverware, the food, and the beverages. When you ask your friends and family members to bring potato salad, macaroni n cheese, and brownies they are no longer your guests they are "kitchen help."

No matter where you live, no matter how formal or casual the event is, it is still inappropriate and rude to ask your guests to bring food and/or beverages to YOUR event.

The wedding reception is your guests' first impression of you and your new husband "as a married couple," is this the impression that you want to make? I hope not.

Only host the reception that YOU, the Bride and Groom, can afford. And if you can only afford cupcakes and iced tea then that's what you will have to do.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A wedding ceremony officiant

Friends of mine did that at their wedding, because they didn't have a lot of money. So they put on the invitations that instead of gifts they would appreciate if everyone could help out with bringing food and to make suggestions of what they wanted to bring with their RSVP so that things could be coordinated a bit (you know, so that you don't end up with 15 potato salads).

It worked really well. I guess there will always be a few people who find it a bit strange, because they come to a wedding to be fed:-) But everyone I saw was absolutely fine with it. And what I really liked about it was all the different stuff people brought. We ended up having several cakes and desserts and fruit salad besides the wedding cake, then for the dinner type stuff different potato salads, pasta salads, couscous salad, greean salad, meat dishes, non meat dishes (always useful for the vegetarians among your guests), several casserole type things and I don't remember what else. Lots and lots anyway. Expect to end up with slightly too much food:-)

I think your idea is perfectly acceptable in certain circles. These are your family and close friends you are talking about, the ones you might have to lean on when you are having financial troubles paying off a $20,000 wedding. My guess is that all of them will be perfectly happy with your idea of simplicity and think you wise and mature. People love to be a part of something and your friends and family will feel that much more connected if they all pitch in. Weddings are not about show and expense. They are about a community coming together to support a couple. That should be the focus.