For people who don't believe gays are 'born that way'?

No. I am answering this to correct you. I can try many many times and still wont get any closer. No matter how hard I try, I still can't fathom how someone can be attracted to the same sex simply because I am not one of those people. In order to have offspring, you need a male and a female. Human beings are supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. This all leaves me to the thought that they were all born this way.

Some people are never attracted to someone of the same sex with no choices involved. It just never is an issue for that person. I'm sure there are people in that situation that choose not to act upon the attraction for various reason, just as there are people who will act upon the attraction.

Though obviously the words homosexual and heterosexual have something to do with sex. However, in these conversations marriage, love and relationships alway come into the mix. Those two words are not ONLY about a sexual act. They are also about who you are attracted to mentally and emotionally. Sex, in its most basic form, is an act. It's not necessary to have feelings for the other person or to even be attracted to the other person (though I'd much prefer it to have greater meaning, the thing itself doesn't have to). Sexuality is not just about the act. It encompasses so much more than that. Think about it. I'm sure people have decided not to have sex in a long relationship, waiting until they are married to do so (or at least, to see where the relationship is going), but that doesn't mean they aren't attracted to each other in other ways.

Here's a scenario for people who argue against "being born that way": Assuming that those in friaries and nunneries would consider themselves to be heterosexual but choose to refrain from sex, should people assume then that they choose to be heterosexual or that they only "claim" to be heterosexual, even though they don't have sex? And don't talk about what they might have done before taking vows. Many of them may very well be virgins and there is not a thing you or I can do to prove or refute that claim if it's made. Your answer, I think, is a resounding no. They are heterosexual because of their attractions, sexual, emotional, spritual or whatever, to the opposite gender--even if they never act upon them. Period. Why can't people use the same logic for homosexuals. Yes, I know the vast majority of creatures on this earth aren't homosexual--if they were, there would be no us now. But just as, I think, a small majority is sterile, a small majority is homosexual. Period.

Let me put it another way. You can choose who you have sex with. But you don't choose who you fall in love with. You're just lucky (or blessed) to fall in love with someone who will love you back. and that love has nothing to do with sex or having children. You love that person first. Everything else is secondary to that love.

That's an excellent point. I guess for me personally, I don't think I can become sexually attracted to someone of the same sex, simply because the "attraction" never gets to the sexual stage because it doesn't suit my interests. The same goes for certain people of the opposite sex. Just because they're the opposite sex doesn't mean I'll become sexually attracted to them. They have to fit all of the right criteria.

I don't know if that answered your question, it was refreshingly thought-provoking (unlike 99% of the crap seen on YA)

To the above poster who said "anyone who says it's a choice is an idiot," then deleted their comment, what's wrong with choosing your sexuality? Why treat homosexuality like a disease, using the excuse of "I was born this way, it's not my fault"? I think everyone has (and should) have the choice of loving whoever they want, regardless of gender. Embrace your choice, if it makes you happy, then you've done nothing wrong.

I simply don't believe YET b/ca they're is no scientific/psychological proof. At least nothing conclusive.

I am attracted (sexually) to women sometimes but I just don't act on it b/ca it doesn't appeal to me on many different levels.

So maybe you CAN assume that. Some people actually have 'restraint'.

This is the exact reason why I think gay people ARE born that way. I did not make a conscious choice to like women. It was natural to happen to me. So I think they have genetic disposition to naturally attract to the same sex.