What would you think of a person who doesn't like to speak to exes again?

I love this mind set. There is no reason to be friends with an ex. You two were romantic friends, not buddies. How would you make the transition from kisses and hugs to high fives and handshakes? It's not meant to be, clearly you both want to be with someone that is better and staying "friends" can totally hinder that. Like you said, one or both could still have feelings for the other and getting involved with someone else and then telling the ex like a friend would just get them all upset.

It's tough because we talk to the person we're in a relationship with everyday. I can see how being friends would ease the pain and still keeping contact wouldn't be as erupt, but I don't think it's healthy. You have the right mind set, don't second guess yourself about being friends with ex's- it just doesn't work out.

It depends on whether you were friends in the first place. If you began dating from the get go, there really isn't any point in remaining friends. Chances are, one or both of you will remind yourselves how good things were before, and all it takes is a drunken phone call to get you back to a place you didn't want to be. Delete their number, delete the photos and for God's sake, delete any e-mails that you might accidentally hit "reply" to when you're sad.

I will say, though, that one of my best friends is an ex of mine. He and I were friends for years before we dated, and we only dated for a short time, so it made sense that (after many months away from each other) we went back to friendship. It's all based on the people involved, but I don't think what you're doing is childish. It's only a problem if it interferes with your professional life or other friendships.

I think that some people need that disconnect from previous relationships. Otherwise, it's very difficult to move on.

I'm very similar to you. After a break-up or big falling out, I usually need a few weeks (or a few months) to get over it. During that time, I don't talk to them or see them. I need that separation. After I've recovered and moved on, I MAY try to be friends again. It all depends on how bad the breakup was, and whether or not I felt it could work.

I think that leaving your exes behind is not a bad thing at all. Actually, if I dated a woman who's best friend was her ex, I'd be pretty skeptical. That's never a good situation.

I feel the same way. I think once you've been with someone on a more intimate level, you cant just go back to being friends. I would be civil with him if he didnt do me wrong, but if he abused me in any way I would never speak to him again. There is no reason to. I believe in cutting off all contact. I had a guy I was seeing a couple years ago and everytime we went out, his ex would call. It's like she had perfect timing. I didnt like it and I told him that......he defended the situation and justified it by saying it was because of the child they had together. I said that's fine and that I understood they had a kid together but if you break up you have certain times where you both drop off/pick up the kid(s) and that's it and only if something happens with the kid (an emergency or to change the custody arrangement, etc) then you call, ask the question, and end of conversation. So I told him this and he acted like he agreed but went on to say that he didnt know why she always called. So I told him to talk to her and tell her he was with someone else (me) and he said he was afraid to tell her because she would take that and make sure he never saw his kid again. He could of done something about that.........like take her to court. They weren't married so she didnt have that leverage on him, but he never did anything. Come to find out, he wanted to talk to her and I started to think maybe something else was going on between them or at the least they were best friends because one time he told me he would always love her and nothing or no one would change that. So I either had to accept that or end it. Well, he ended up breaking up with me and it was the best thing. I could never be with a guy like that because I dont think that way about exes. I have an ex husband who I see once in awhile, but I dont call him, he's not on my facebook, and the only reason I see him is because of our kids events (like graduation) and that is it. We are civil to each other and that is the end of it. We have both moved on and I think you have to be like that to move on. You close the chapter and deal with it. And yes, I do believe things happen for a reason.

i think that it's definitely your choice but i think that there will be a moment in your life when you will need someone there beside you and you would want oe of your exes to be there because they know you better then anyone. i think that you might want to try to move on and maybe let them be a part of your life after the break up. right now i am dating guy i dated before months ago we've been dating for 8 months and we are happy together! so i think you should give it a shot, if it doesn't work out you can always stop being friends with them.

I completely agree with everything you just said. I never continue to talk to an ex after we've broken up. Its just not gonna help each of us to "get over" the other one. I did have an ex from three years ago contact me and we talked for a little while and hung out once; nothing happened.

Although, I do understand that in some very strange instances where exes can be actual friends, but its VERY rare.

I'm with you. Unless you were married and have a family together, then there's no reason to keep up a facade of friendship. When you break up with someone, there's a good reason for it. Usually one person has treated the other very poorly.

Since friends don't treat each other like that, there's no sense in being friendly.

I think your way of thinking is perfectly acceptable. I'm like that as well and prefer people who also leave the past behind. What's the point of being friends with someone if there was already closure? There is nothing wrong with not wanting anything to do with exes. (:

There's no reason to keep in contact with exes. My man and I plan on having a future together (buying a house together, marriage, etc.), and neither one of us talk to or are friends with our exes. What's the point?

It's totally okay for you to be like that, it just might not be the right choice for every situation. Sometimes it's good to stay friends...even if it's not "with benefits". You don't have to feel self-conscious about it or anything, but you might want to try being a little more flexible. Everyone's different, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your mindset about it being "pointless", though...well, like I said, it can be valuable to retain friendships from broken relationships.