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Critique for my first attempt at lyrics?

~Just A Lie~

There isn’t anything I’d do for you

There isn’t anything worth the time

It would take to make this better

So much less of a crime

Maybe once, or was it twice

Lies fell easily upon these ears

But no matter what you patter

Now I have only fear

Chorus

Why’d you have to whisper sorry?

Why’d you have to cry?

When I told you it was over

It wasn’t just a lie

And perhaps I was mistaken

Though why I do not know

Your eyes they carry lies

And your tears are just for show

Chorus x 2

Perhaps you should stop talking

It’s a sound I’ve heard before

Now it’s far too late to wait

To pick my heart up from the floor

And baby keep your apologise

You’ll need them later on

To be repeated when you’ve cheated

On the next girl that you con

So why’d you have to whisper sorry

Why’d you have to cry

When i said that it was over

It wasn’t just a lie

no it wasn’t just a lie

When I said it was over

It wasn’t just a lie.

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Anyone want to put this to music? I'd be over the moon if someone could.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    for a starter, it's pretty darn good! on basis of that, 8.7/10 :D

    consider adding hooks and bridges, etc? makes songs more interesting!

    Source(s): lyricist for a local band
  • 10 years ago

    "your eyes they carry lies

    and your tears are just for show"

    simple but deep - great job! that was my fav part!

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