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Fug-azi
25 Years Building & Repairing Computer Systems
Can the public request a vote of no confidence in a County Council?
There is a growing concern where I live that the County Council are not fulfilling the requirements of the electors and are intent on chasing their own follies.
Have the public any legal way of challenging the council to the point of getting an early election?
1 AnswerCivic Participation9 years agoDating With Extreme Prejudice - Critique Please?
~Dating With Extreme Prejudice~
Diligence dallies,
drawn between soft-shoe shuffle
of whispering corners,
where finger walking negates talking
‘cos tongues are knotted in spittoon embrace,
and voyeuristic carnage vomiting
from polished pine floor,
where stiff ***** bob to a racing heart
and booty is shaken not stirred.
Ice cube charms melting
under heated collars swerving to avoid
dangerous curves with no safety net
to cushion their fall,
and is it the last dance
when weaving a straight line
with digits as wet as the gusset
they dethroned,
or self relief merely misaimed.
1 AnswerPoetry10 years agoSestina Poem For Critique?
For those who don't know the sestina is a strict ordered form of poetry, dating back to twelfth century French troubadours. It consists of six six-line (sestets) stanzas followed by a three-line envoy. Rather than use a rhyme scheme, the six ending words of the first stanza are repeated as the ending words of the other five stanzas in a set pattern. The envoy uses two of the ending words per line, again in a set pattern.
First stanza, ..1 ..2 ..3 ..4 ..5 ..6
Second stanza, ..6 ..1 ..5 .. 2 ..4 ..3
Third stanza, ..3 ..6 ..4 ..1 ..2 ..5
Fourth stanza, ..5 ..3 ..2 ..6 ..1 ..4
Fifth stanza, ..4 ..5 ..1 ..3 ..6 ..2
Sixth stanza, ..2 ..4 ..6 ..5 ..3 ..1
Concluding tercet:
middle of first line ..2, end of first line ..5
middle of second line ..4, end of second line..3
middle if third line ..6, end of third line ..1
--------------------------------------------------------------
~Stand Up And Be Counted~
Can it be that construction creates holes
where building blocks are torn without pausing,
no thought to the scars left all stark and bare.
Perhaps we all relish that sense of control,
with not a tear for all the pain we are causing;
are we even aware?
how children grow wiser, become aware
of the sutures we stick to cover holes,
how we ignore their questions to what is the cause
then wonder why they’ve stuttered and paused,
lost all their wonder, have got no control;
all lonely and bare.
We could blame this society for leaving us bare,
no protection from evil, un-aware
that the more we want the less the control,
we can’t see out of this self dug hole
and then its too late to stop or to pause,
pondering the cause
of this apathy, what are the causes
of being shallow, unable to bare;
too quick a life with not enough pauses.
Even in knowledge we stay not aware
content to wallow deep in our holes,
our pseudo control,
when really it’s us being controlled
as we shout for our chosen causes,
accepting their ‘truth’ dribbling through holes,
when the lies lay on their faces so bare
and how I wish I could make them aware
how they are all paused.
Stop the faux building, lets take time to pause
and regain what we’ve lost, take control;
let bureaucrats know that we are aware
of all the pain that they have been causing
and lets start afresh with a sheet so bare,
plug up all those holes.
Time to come off pause and fight for this cause,
take back the controls, no longer be bare,
be self aware as we fill our holes.
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The added twist here is the rhyming.
3 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoTogether, a Poem for Critique?
~together~
was that a sigh
beneath your threshold
or just a mote
absently escaping
your thoughts
as they casually settled
like a plumped pillow
or favourite song
upon devotion
-------------------------------------------------
No capitals or punctuation is intended
1 AnswerPoetry1 decade agoCritique for my first attempt at lyrics?
~Just A Lie~
There isn’t anything I’d do for you
There isn’t anything worth the time
It would take to make this better
So much less of a crime
Maybe once, or was it twice
Lies fell easily upon these ears
But no matter what you patter
Now I have only fear
Chorus
Why’d you have to whisper sorry?
Why’d you have to cry?
When I told you it was over
It wasn’t just a lie
And perhaps I was mistaken
Though why I do not know
Your eyes they carry lies
And your tears are just for show
Chorus x 2
Perhaps you should stop talking
It’s a sound I’ve heard before
Now it’s far too late to wait
To pick my heart up from the floor
And baby keep your apologise
You’ll need them later on
To be repeated when you’ve cheated
On the next girl that you con
So why’d you have to whisper sorry
Why’d you have to cry
When i said that it was over
It wasn’t just a lie
no it wasn’t just a lie
When I said it was over
It wasn’t just a lie.
----------------------------------
Anyone want to put this to music? I'd be over the moon if someone could.
2 AnswersLyrics1 decade agoFirst Ever Attempt At Lyrics - Critique Please?
First attempt at Lyrics for me so would be interested in any critique and someone with music writing skills to write the music for it.
~Just A Lie~
There isn’t anything I’d do for you
There isn’t anything worth the time
It would take to make this better
So much less of a crime
Maybe once, or was it twice
Lies fell easily upon these ears
But no matter what you patter
Now I have only fear
Chorus
Why’d you have to whisper sorry?
Why’d you have to cry?
When I told you it was over
It wasn’t just a lie
And perhaps I was mistaken
Though why I do not know
Your eyes they carry lies
And your tears are just for show
Chorus x 2
Perhaps you should stop talking
It’s a sound I’ve heard before
Now it’s far too late to wait
To pick my heart up from the floor
And baby keep your apologies
You’ll need them later on
To be repeated when you’ve cheated
On the next girl that you con
So why’d you have to whisper sorry
Why’d you have to cry
When i said that it was over
It wasn’t just a lie
It wasn’t just a lie
When I said it was over
It wasn’t just a lie.
4 AnswersLyrics1 decade agoBe Brutal, Be Beautiful, But Most Of All Be Truthful?
~Crooked Line~
I have angles,
obtuse places without definition
that linger long after day has banished night,
and fight is bravado of dreams.
Après vu follows déjà vu,
motes of memory sliding into voids
like ribbons unfurled
in confusions tempest,
and rest is acutely sparse.
Playing tic-tac-toe with no centre square.
Am I right, left or wrong?
Laying the straightness of this macadam
upon another sandy hope,
thinking maybe another corner won’t lead me back
to a point of no recollection.
In those corners of maybes
could there be salvation?
1 AnswerPoetry1 decade agoA Measure Of Thinking - Can You Answer Without Emotional Bias?
A statement put to me and i would like to know other peoples response.
The human race has managed to harness the ability to sustain life where perhaps it should not, by allowing certain individuals to live, who according to natures law of the strong surviving should not, are we, in fact, polluting the 'gene' pool of the human race with weaker DNA, thus creating a weaker and weaker species who in turn have to rely on the fewer of the species who are still strong.
If we were to allow nature to take its course would this planet be better able to support life in the long term.
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NB: Not sure if this belongs in Philosophy.
15 AnswersPhilosophy1 decade agoMan created God so God could create man : Discuss?
11 AnswersPhilosophy1 decade agoWhich Is more likely, God or Aliens?
Explain why both or one and not the other or neither.
26 AnswersPhilosophy1 decade agoPoem To Critique Please?
~Dawn Fix~
There is nothing so fresh
as nicotine scissors,
-inhale, exhale-
to bring temporary death
closer to reality,
and exaltation
of soft spirals
expunging doubt
that both will finally be
ashes.
5 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoPoem For Critique Please?
~Write The Rites To Right The Wrongs~
I could cobble words,
lay them down within precision
of a heart-beat,
Perhaps, count their worth
within their division,
just to build
a better tunnel wall,
Or could I
remove random bricks
from structure.
Let light into their maybe corners
of policing doctrine,
rewrite policy
into abstractive art,
where meter is like
a foreign language,
yes I can,
for thoughts are not containers
for rules or formulations,
for counting lines of snorted coke
to see how high they merit.
Mine are hallucinogenic,
spreading multi-coloured shadows
in refracted reflections.
Not flesh wounds,
but body cavity piercings,
and I will say thank you
as my words slit your throat,
you may dance to your rhythm,
but don’t mock my song.
1 AnswerPoetry1 decade agoPoem For Critique Please?
~Be It Blinkered Or Be It Blinded~
It could be confusion that smothers illusion,
like smog rolling in from the sea,
or an abstract decision, without precision
that forges this doubt within me,
and yet I can’t find a reason to be blind
to all of this human debris,
while here at my feet there is chaff mixed with the wheat
rotting in various degrees.
When our children are born to a world forlorn
of anything too close to shame,
to these mothers so young, that a child should have sprung,
shows how society is lame,
but we avert our eyes up to poisoned skies
looking for somewhere to lay blame,
when all it should take to admit our mistakes
is admitting we are the frame
that captures this sad life in its terminal strife,
and fixes it to our will,
it’s easy to excuse, when myopic views
turn full circle and self fulfil,
and it’s easier to ignore what lays on our floor;
just things that happened to spill.
So my curtains I’ll draw and I’ll forget what I saw
and practice this ignorance skill.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Each stanza has 8 lines, all odd lines as 12 syllables with internal rhyme.
All even lines are 8 syllables and must rhyme with each even line within the stanza.
4 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoAbstract Poem - Critique Please?
~Hollow Echoes Of Retreating Breaths~
Sighs contents litter
across ambit’s reassurance
where security trails ‘in’,
and the language
of a thousand-yard-stare
reveals natural rhythm
for meanings hidden.
A glass-eyed iris contracts
when clouds weave scripts
across vulgar clarity,
deafening the onslaught
of voided accords,
and what of furrowed brows
ploughed into fallow expression,
are they proof of a presence?
4 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoSolitude Of A Shade - Critique Requested?
~Solitude Of A Shade~
She slipped like a breeze
below a threshold,
just a shiver upon chandeliers
hung in forbidding halls,
hoping the prisms
wouldn’t refract her paleness,
or blind her with company.
She could exist on a sigh
wrapped in self pity
and never miss the colours
of her dreams,
so long as ice remained opaque.
2 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoKyrielle Form - Critique Requested?
~Dead Past Midnight~
Bible black catches not my prayers
falling like some forgotten wares,
as God himself stands there scolding
while my end begins unfolding.
His baleful eye stalking my thought
to how this death should best be sought.
No matter what he is moulding,
while my end begins unfolding,
it doesn’t catch blinkered vision
tied to my abstract decision,
all I am is not worth holding
while my end begins unfolding.
So take your darkness into dawn,
I’ll wait until it has withdrawn
and spend some time just beholding,
while my end begins unfolding.
2 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoInsomnia Poem - Critique Requested?
~Insufficient~
I pray to crosses thrown
from streetlights through my pane,
that this insane refrain
will cease its hold on my brain,
and offer only sweet release.
How many shadows of shadows
must I commit to conversation?
From their corners of maybes,
with an abstract vocation,
to permit and submit
an elegy to sleepless mourners,
and these lids remain ajar
while ceilings remain mute to questions,
astute observations that these eyes
look like scars
rendered in the fabric of night.
While dawn approaches,
madness encroaches
on another wide eyed day.
4 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoHaiku Poetry - Comments Please?
The Haiku is a traditional Japanese poetry form that has been translated into English. The common misconception is that Haiku's should have a maximum 17 syllable count split into 3 lines as follows 5-7-5, this is not so a Haiku can contain less then 17 syllables but no more.
The first two lines create an image within the readers mind with the third line creating the 'ku' or aha moment where the reader realises the initial picture is not the whole scene, the 3 lines are all on the same subject but you create a juxtaposition. Traditional Haiku revolve around the seasons and there is always a word that indicates that season, though it may not be obvious. Contemporary Haiku tend to reflect human emotion.
No poetic devices are used in the Haiku, it is merely an observation of a moment in time. Haiku do not usually have titles, but the first line can be used as the title, neither do they contain punctuation or capital letters, the '-' is added only to show where the aha moment starts.
Comments appreciated;
~Haiku #38~
feathers bloom
in spring courtship –
inky quill
~Haiku #37~
a deer trembles
in Autumn’s morning mist –
a cougar waits
~Haiku #35~
in warm eiderdown
by icy pond -
ducklings skate
~Haiku #34~
chaos on the battle field
helmets strewn in autumn dusk -
harvest time again
~Haiku #32~
sprinklers whispering
shimmering ‘cross summer lawns -
house burning brightly
~Haiku #30~
grey-red mosaic
drying below the May sun -
a recent roadkill
~Haiku #28~
perfect sky
ripped by thunder –
pilots playing chase me
~Haiku #26~
Timber shuddering
in early April shower -
a chainsaw cuts deep
~Haiku #25~
suns rays
dancing on the beach;
her hair
~Haiku #22~
two shoes lie mirrored
forgotten when spring cleaning -
the wake remembered
~Haiku #16~
entrance at last breached
by a hard battering ram -
virginities death
~Haiku #15~
shifting the gearing
as more speed is required -
orgasm approaches
~Haiku #10~
virgin cold
shrinks capacity -
yellow snow
~Haiku #9~
sunbathing wet stones
beneath waterfalls cascade:
dog with cocked leg
4 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoHonest Critique On This Poem?
A little background;
I am a member of on of the worlds largest poetry sites, which holds contests. The contest I entered had a Autumn theme picture and certain restrictions were put upon the poets entering, one of which was we had to have at least three 'phrases' repeating in the poem. I'd be interested in the communities opinion as I am wondering whether to put this one in my new book.
~Beyond Equinox~
Golden tresses shorn
lay beneath the feet of summers passing,
sun shifts slowly towards warmth
of another horizon,
promising to return,
and we are wrapped for winters blues
beneath compressing sky,
as it drains away all colours.
We were tired as we
lay beneath the feet of summers passing,
too many attempts to fly
left our breath
promising to return.
How lethargic morning seems
as it lingers longer in slumber
beneath compressing sky,
with no thought to lights insistence
that night should be on its way.
Too many attempts to fly
left clouds resting against mountains,
dulling their sharpness
into a soft subtle melody,
while the wolf’s moon
called for the chorus to mourn
golden tresses shorn,
soon frost will bleach all temporary white
and as it drains away all colours,
we reminisce on how we
lay beneath the feet of summers passing,
promising to return.
3 AnswersPoetry1 decade agoCritique Required Please?
Be Brutal, Be Beautiful, But Most Of All Be Honest.
~Fallen~
She’d had a rye life,
whisky eyes
seen through ice cube charms,
propped up on a bar stool pedestal
accepting only liquid worship -
no chasers for her,
and I caught her eye
as she swept the bump ‘n’ grind persona
of Friday night whores,
draped Dali like across wide-boys arms.
Her half moon smile
tainted by nicotine clouds
as they fought to escape
the confines of an inhale,
and me the rabbit in headlights glare,
tongue tied to this table,
nursing a misplaced conception.
She was slick as she oozed
through the waves of melded bodies,
caught in a chimera of sex and music;
a deep throb within.
Another notch to be nicked
in her playground stick,
a passing phase
in her latest craze,
she was warm in my lap
like a pile of bones before the pyre,
waiting .. just waiting,
and I found I could climb
the ladder of her spine, though her heart
had escaped that cage long ago,
all I could see was my dignity
lying discarded on an unmade bed,
and her proclaiming
“I used to be a lady.”
5 AnswersPoetry1 decade ago