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Abstract Poem - Critique Please?
~Hollow Echoes Of Retreating Breaths~
Sighs contents litter
across ambit’s reassurance
where security trails ‘in’,
and the language
of a thousand-yard-stare
reveals natural rhythm
for meanings hidden.
A glass-eyed iris contracts
when clouds weave scripts
across vulgar clarity,
deafening the onslaught
of voided accords,
and what of furrowed brows
ploughed into fallow expression,
are they proof of a presence?
Aquarius .. I've been writing poetry for 20 years, I have three books published. Why should I add a paraphrase, if you are so stupid you can't understand what is written try going back to school.
4 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
This isn't "abstract".
It's drivel, an insult to the reader.
Try writing a paraphrase - I'll bet you can't. Which should tell you something.
20 years eh?
Nearly as long as me.
Rubbish is still rubbish, my friend. Mixed and meaningless metaphors don't impress me, I'm afraid.
Source(s): Published poet. - 1 decade ago
I will not insult the work because I can not understand it. It is like a painting that does not express reality but conveys shapes, colours texture and word sensation and many abstract and sometimes unrealistic thoughts. The imagery is abstract and appeals to subconscious thought.
- RainmanLv 41 decade ago
Fug Azi -- can you let me know which three books you've had published? I'd love to read them! (Don't like your poem much, if I'm being honest)
Add. Fug Azi -- you haven't told me where I can see/buy your three books, please let me know. Titles, ISBN numbers, publisher etc, thanks looking forward to reading them.
