What to do with my defiant BRAT pre-teen that won't listen and says "I'm ignoring you... I'm not listening."?

Send him to his room every time the tone comes out. We have a rule in this house that if you are not pleasant to be around you need to go and be on your own until you are and this covers whining and rudeness. When my daughter has a phase like this she is up and down like a yoyo for a couple of days and then it sinks in that it is not worth it. As soon as the tone comes out say 'No, upstairs till you can speak politely'.

You could also try giving him a taste of his own medicine. My daughter was whining and refusing to do her job of feeding the cats and tidying up her toys and it was a battle every night so one night I behaved like her and said 'I don't want to make dinner! I'm tired. Its not fair!' and then I did not cook her dinner. Just the once it did not hurt her and she had a huge breakfast and the whining stopped. You could tell him you are going to behave like him and then respond rudely to everything he says and when he asks if he can do something just say'I'm not listening. I'm ignoring you.' After he has got really frustrated for a few hours tell him this is why we don't treat people like this and you will show him how it feels as often as it takes. I had great results teaching my daughter not to interrupt adults rudely this way too by allowing her to have a friend over and then making it impossible for them to talk at all.

That's interesting

Try to remember that he is no longer a little boy. He is at the stage where he is growing into his own person and is trying to figure out who he is and needing a little freedom to do so. Pick your battles and let him know that with proper behavior, he will be rewarded. Sit down with him when you are both in good moods and ask him what he feel you are too strict about. LISTEN to what he says. See if you can agree to a compromise. You may find that you are indeed being too strict in certain areas and not strict enough in others. Ask him what are fair punishments and fair rewards. If you approach it like a business plan, you can keep your emotions in check. You will be surprised how your sons behavior will quickly change. You aren't letting him be in control, but you are letting him feel as though he is being heard.

Spanking, grounding, and timeouts aren't going to work on a ten year old. He's being a typical pre teen. They try to defy their parent's daily. Stand your ground, don't give in with him. When he wants something from you, ignore him like he ignores you. When he protests, ask him why should you listen when he doesn't listen to you, when you start respecting me as your parent and start behaving, I'll stop and keep on ignoring. You need to show him how obnoxious his behavior really is. Children usually get it after a while of doing this.

Welcome to adolecents. When you find a cure, please tell me. The attitude comes with the age.

I always just told them they can just ignore me for the next week they are grounded. Try and find that one item that taking away from him really hurts, like his gameboy or xbox and then take it away until his attitude improves.

I was interested to know the answer too

It sounds like someone needs a spanking. Defiance should not be tolerated.