Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

? asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 10 years ago

criticize my poem please?

name ideas?

rage and fear protect me near

anger and rage scream insane

life gone wrong

but one remains the same

its hot and cold like life these days

i lift my eyes and its FEAR i see, running with all our glory.

holding on to the night.

wait, is that the light?

no, its just serious fright.

its stays and cries and holds its arms around me tight.

fear is here for the rest of our life's.

we defend, we plead.

pray for our new master to leave.

but forever weep in hopeless misery.

looking for peace that is now deceased.

so we battle and groan until life's no more

because fear is here to guide us away from home.

we not laugh, cant cry!

for ever paralyzed in this frozen night.

peace gone with every drop of light.

we sneer and flea, but its useless if we don't bow down

misery is how we describe our self now

forever stuck down south, were the cold fire of hell burns us out

p.s- not about my life but the war...i think.

Update:

how about... "the last bloody battle of misery." lol. thanks.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your poem is very touching. It evokes your inner feelings upon which it expresses of something like there is no point of return in what have you observed or experienced it yourself. Remember writing poems is ones own steam out's outlet. It expresses either a conscious or unconscious behavior tolerated before until one can not stand anymore, such that it has to come out in the open by means of expressing them in a poem. Anything at all that bothers your soul, just pause and think you are created with love and care by a Divine force to be happy and prosperous. We make our own Karma by what we choose to do in this world so that it is a lesson to make and learn that since we are created with Love: Love then is our only energy to go on living because our heart is allowed to dominate and rule!

    Source(s): From the book of Gary Zukab and some of my own observation from others
  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Its a good poem, I like it. It takes in all the worst aspects of how bad war is. It also can give you a lot of imagery of whats happening in this battle which is what every poem/story needs.

    To be honest i thought it was about your life until i read the last sentence.

    i have a few names:

    First Battle

    Cold Fire

    Bloody Fear

    Misery

    Fear of the Fight

    War Days

    War Night

  • 10 years ago

    REALLLY GOOD... 10/10

    ANSWER MIN PLEASE, its about poetry also! :D

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201107...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.