Please help I am so ashamed.?

Pray and meditate.

What you now require is moral, intellectual and spiritual support, help and guidance.

Learn Yoga techniques. Yoga teaches some physical self-discipline and mental control. In Yoga, they teach physical exercises and mental exercises to keep the body and mind strong, fit, trim and steady.

You will gain self-confidence gradually and in a slow and steady manner.

Forget the bad past.

Hi there. First of all, you need to let go of the guilt you carry. I can see how the things you've done can make you feel ashamed of yourself, but can you change the past? No. Obviously, alcohol abuse was triggered by some self confidence and self esteem issues, which you haven't said anything about, so I can't be the judge on that. The man with two kids you had sex with, which obviously concerns you the most, well, I won't say you did something great, but basically, that's his problem. He's the one with the kids who used you when you were drunk and what's most probable he didn't even flinch. He's the one who should be ashamed of himself, but there you are, three years later, having guilt trips about it. Forget it. And also about the other guys. You realized what you did was wrong, otherwise, you wouldn't be abstaining from sexual intercourse for over a year. And the filming, well, I know stories even worse than yours, trust me. I don't think you should tell your boyfriend the whole story, you're a different person now. If the subject ever comes up, just tell him something in the line how you weren't a saint in the past. If he cares for you, he should understand. Well, I hope I've helped you at least a tiny bit.

First lets get clear on this.. just because the "black guy with 2 kids" wasnt from a great area that doesnt make him less of a person than any other guy. May be some cultural differences but thats neither here nor there. Id say the guy that filmed you without permission is the one of extremely low character. Now.. You have turned your life around it sounds like so dont be ashamed. Your past is just that..your PAST. There is no reason that you should need to give any of the gory details to your boyfriend or especially your parents. It really does sound to me like you have a very serious problem with alcohol. Some forms of alcoholism arent so much about craving it but about not being very good at stopping at one drink .. maybe you just drink too much when you drink even though you may not drink very often. I have the same problem... and was very permiscuis when i was young like you. I just dont drink at all anymore and theres no more problem. Getting older doesnt change anything either..

Ok, let's look at it logically and rationally! First of all, you say that what upsets you the most is that you had sex with a man with kids and who isn't from a great area. That sounds a bit snobbish - why should it matter what part of town he is from - also, are you 100% that none of the other one-night stands had children too???

My advice to you is to 1) never, ever, ever, tell you boyfriend. No matter how much he says he loves you and he doesn't mind about your past, it will prey on his mind. It's all in the past anyway and was long before you met him. What he doesn't know in this instance won't hurt him. I'm not promoting dishonesty, just being economical with the truth.

As the years go by these events will fade in your memory. What you musn't let happen is for them to affect your present or your future. Many of us do highly embarrassing things in our youth, and feel like we could run away or die from the shameful memory. The best thing to do is to live your life to the full, and tell yourself that you committed some youthful indiscretions - you and a billion others - so you have to stop dwelling on it. That person then is not who you are now.

Please don't let this ruin your young life, or your great potential for the future. Keep yourself busy with studies, work, social life and so on. It's in the past, it's gone.

Good luck!

It's all in the past now. You can't blame yourself for things you did.

Try not to feel so guilty, I understand that you feel like a bad person but it really isn't just your fault because it takes two.

We've all done things that we regret it's part of growing up. A lot of people have had pasts simillar to yours.

A famous saying is that the past is gone, the future is a mystery but the present is a gift. Which is why it's called the present.

It doesn't matter what you did because beating yourself up about it, isn't going to change it. It's done and there's no point worrying about it now.

Try to focus on better things. And stop being so hard on yourself

wow . . . you are a bit hard on yourself and at the same time seem to be riding a high horse. Interesting. None the less, the easy answer is forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Truth is lots of wonderful people have had similar if not worse stories and they are none the worse for wear. The fact that the guy had kids or is from a bad neighborhood should have nothing to do with how you feel. He could have been the President of the United States and the action is the same (hence my high horse comment).

People do things that they regret all the time. That's just what happened to you. You've been checked for HIV.

Now is the time to leave the past where it belongs, in the past. You have learned from it and have found happiness. Don't let your past ruin your future.

What happened during that time in your life is no ones business but, your own. This is something that you have to learn to live with and in time forgive yourself.

Nothing good can come by sharing this with your boyfriend or your family. If you feel the need to talk to someone then find a therapist to talk with.

Don't worry about the things you have done in your past, just worry about not letting yourself do things like that in the future. If you don't like something you have to change it, plain and simple. Death is never the answer, it's a permanent fix for a temporary situation. Things will get better you just need confidence, self esteem, and to have faith in yourself. It's very good that you've gotten a boyfriend and have cleared yourself up, it takes a strong person to do that! Maybe going to a psychologist to talk would be the best thing for you to do, they can give you tips on how to tell your boyfriend if you want to tell him (if you don't it's okay too your entitled to a personal, private life), and as for your family they don't need to know about your sex life. I hope this helped :)

Please do not feel this way. Yes, I understand that you are ashamed but everyone has done things in their life that they are ashamed of. You cant keep punishing yourself for the things that you have done. You have gone through enough. Stop worrying. Dont feel guilty, just dont do it again. Get on with your life, finish school, fall in love, make a family! Be happy! And dont tell your current bf or your family about this. It will only hurt them and thats not fair. You will get over this. It will be ok. Believe me, people have done way worse than the things you have listed here and dont feel bad at all about it, and that right there tells me that you are a good person because at least you care and feel bad about it! You are an angel compared to alot of people.... Just please realize that you are a good person and you deserve to have a good life and you are worth it. Things will get better. Keep your head up. :)

I don't think you should feel ashamed, we all have things in our past that we wish we didn't do, but its all part of growing up. I think its a lesson learnt at the end of the day. I wouldn't dwell too much on the past and look forward to the future as the past is just 'practice' for the future. Hope this helps you feel a little better :-)

If you continue to dwell on the past you will be trapped in it. You have to make a conscious effort to move on and look to your future life and achievements. After all no one died did they? I appreciate that you are a sensitive and caring person, but the only person suffering is you. You don't have to make pre determined choices about relationships. One night stands are not compulsory, neither is celibacy. You just make a considered decision.Sensibly limiting your booze intake will help no end.

I know responsible drinking is a cliche, but knowing your limit is essential. Cheer up. make good friends and enjoy life. It's far to short to waste on regrets.