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ching c asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 10 years ago

How will I be able to get pregnant?

My partner and I want to start a family, but there are a few things that make me feel like its never going to happen...

1. We're both in our early 40s

2. He has ED- not all the time, but sometimes, and its enough for him to sometimes not try at all- sometimes for weeks.

3. He's self employed and business is not good- I work full time, and bring in the money- if I became pregnant, how would he be able to support our child?

I know that these shouldn't be deciding factors but in this day and age- they are. Don't jknow what to do- feel like its an uphill struggle and loosing the will to live, especially over the ED which is soul destroying. He has said a few times he will get help, but so far he hasn't.

Any advice would be appreicated.

Thanks

5 Answers

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  • d00ney
    Lv 5
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The traditional route was to cuckold a dysfunctional partner and use a virile one for impregnation. He has all the benefits of a child without the effort of producing it. That of course depends on how broody you are and you should not break your own moral code.

    We had a child late in life, she is cursed with old parents, old ideas, out of touch, no siblings to fight, and a feeling that she is missing out on life. With the best will in the world, fifty somethings do not have the same vitality, the same sense of fun as thirty somethings.

    The rule is that if you go for a kid, you have to love what comes, and the older you are the greater the risk of a congenital defect. You can't send it back and ask for a refund.

    If he does have erectile dysfunction, that could by symptomatic of other circulatory problems, and besides there is a recognition that what modern man spurts isn't the quality that it used to be. I remember when I put mine in, there were handkerchiefs stuffed in mouths and rolling on the floor. "You want to make a baby? That's a good one." Enjoy the sex, if a baby comes fine. Don't put yourselves under a strain by trying to produce a baby; such efforts can be stressful and be very counter productive. Besides it is much more than sex, it is also about diet and lifestyle, and how you are going to manage the little creature should it arrive. You want to have as much agreement as you can before it comes.

    My wife would never contemplate fostering. How do you feel about that? You certainly don't have to worry about ED. You get all the benefits of family life. Kids that you can love to bits, and who take you for granted. To be fair today's kids are better than I was. I wouldn't say it would be an easy route to take. If you have your own child, that is one life, for you to mess up. With fostering they come to you already messed up, but you will be advised and trained in how to handle them. There is no such thing as the perfect parent, any more than there is the perfect child.

    By all means try for a kid, but why not foster while you are trying? If you do have your own child the experience would stand you in good stead, and if you continue fostering there will be non adults in the house for your child to react with - play, fight, argue and so on. If you don't then can still have the bed used as a trampoline, the sofa scuffed, finger prints all over the wall, kids who won't do their homework, who can talk for hours when speaking to their friends, but can't put a coherent sentence when talking to you, unless it starts with "Please may I have that" or, "Please may I do such and such"

  • 10 years ago

    Whats meant to be will always work out the way its supposed to. Mabey you should look into an adoption or mabey a person to carry the baby for you. At your age -no offense- it can be extremely hard on your health to have a baby. You become a VERY high risk patient. Also mabey if you talk to your husband about having someone else carry the baby. (it would still be yours and his child) He might really be willing to get some help for that ED then. He might have some worries about you and your health and are just not wanting to openly admit it. try talking to your partner calmly and in a private relaxing envirement. Hope this helps =]

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    i think of your sister is attempting to make you freak out. You used condom and you're on start administration. you're doing the in charge element for having intercourse. in the experience that your cycle is secure (that's 28 days long) you ovulate precisely in the middle. you have the evaluate the sturdiness of ovules and sperm. you're consequently in threat of turning into pregnant in the time of the two-3 days in the previous and four-5 days when you ovulate. So approximately according to week in the direction of your cycle. in the experience that your cycle isn't secure, you may count huge kind ranging from the tip. you many times ovulate 14 days in the previous your era (that's the beginning up of a clean cycle). So in the experience that your cycle is 40 days long, you ovulate at day 26 (and ought to be careful quite 2-3 days in the previous and four-5 days after). that would not recommend which you'll be not careful the the remainder of the time, as this is somewhat diverse for each guy or woman (ovule and sperm could have an prolonged sturdiness as an occasion).

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    any sort of performance enhancing drug will help him if hes willing to take it. since youa re in your early 40s it might be harder to get pregnant once you guys are having more sex again. if you find this to be true, ivf might be the best option for you. it can be expensive though and im not sure if you have health insurance? so sorry for what you are going through. is he able to get a different job somewhere so you guys can make your dreams come true?

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Don't have children.

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