How do I walk away after 10 years and three kids?

Find out why he cheated. $50 says it's got something to do with something you did, or something he thought you did. Understanding and communication!

Heavy question. Not very good answer.

I'm not sure you have many options in your situation. Had you been married, you'd have many more legal options to follow and while you can certainly go after child support, it is not cheap to retain legal council and get help, and even if you were to get a judgement and child support, actually collecting may be even more difficult.

Add in having 3 kids and it's compounded even more so. There are agencies you can seek help, but most would be something along the line of putting you and the kids in a shelter which certainly would not be a place you'd want to be, especally with young kids.

Being a mom of 3 is more than a full time job, and that adds another layer of complication to an already complicated problem. You really can't go out and simply find a job in this situation.

As you didn't say he's ever abused or hurt you (and no, I'm not discounting cheating on you) maybe an option to look into is seek professional councelling for you both to see if you can resolve the problems and the issues he's created.

In the meantime, as a safety net, I'd open a savings account at a bank he's not aware of, send statements to a friend or parent, don't tell him it exists and start socking any cash you can save away for a time when you feel you have no further options and need to go. At least by that point, maybe you'll have a little money saved.

Of course, if he's actually abusive, if he's controlling 100% of your family income and has made you a virtual financial prisoner, it's possible there may be something your county can do.

Women in your situation are not uncommon and there is never a good solution, and certainly not anything based on someone writing on Yahoo.

Most lawyers will at least talk to you, some might take a case pro-bono (free) but most would at least give you an explanation of your rights and legal standing. I'd start there and see what you can and can't do. Explain everything and leave nothing out.

And finally, keep anything you do as secret as possible. If your BF finds out you're seeking legal advice on leaving him, you seriously run the risk of him doing stuff you've never thought he was capable of doing.

I wish I had more answers for you, but as i said, this is the type of sad story that happens so many times in this country and the bitter reality is the person who controls the money has the power to control the situation.

But call around, check your county/state website and discreetly seek help. Don't make anything known to him until you have an escape plan. We certainly don't want to find out you've become another statistic of domestic violence or worse.

RocD

Only you can make that decision. The guy sounds like a straight up cheater and it's probably not something you did (unless you got really fat after having kids and refuse to work out or diet). Some people just can't help themselves, as humans are naturally promiscuous (this is why the institution of marriage was created). If you can accept the fact that he cheats and will probably cheat again then stay. If not, leave. What you should not do is ask people on the internet for advice in this type of situation.

This may not be a feel good answer but the cart is already in front of the Horse.You've assumed all the risk without first asking for a commitment from him.Now that you've had this many children with him,your options are quite limited.Not working or going to school to improve your life has left you at his mercy.Go out there and learn a skill.Only then will you be able to build enough strength to bring up your children.Wishing you the very best.

You poor thing!

One thing is certain, you need to leave, you do not deserve this! What kind of BF cheats on his GF while she is pregnant? What a pig!

You should talk to members of your family or close friends about this. I am sure that someone will have a place that you can stay at with your kids for a while.

It will be hard to leave for many reasons, the most important is the money!! You will have to get a job or some kind of benifit to support your kids, and by the sounds of it you are a very strong woman and CAN DO THIS! You will need alot of support, but you are not alone..

I hope this helps..

Good luck, god bless

You poor girl. This is terrible. I think you may have to wait until the children are older and that will enable you to go to work. Make up your mind to do that as soon as it is viable. Whatever you do, get out as soon as you can. If you do not, you will regret it your whole life. Just know he will never change, Once a cheater always a cheater. no one deserves to be cheated on ever, Good Luck.

Because you have dug yourself into this hole of dependency upon the slimeball you picked to be the father of your children, your choices are limited to these:

Move back in with your folks and make do with whatever custody arrangement deemed appropriate by the courts;

Or

Stay, and never ever bring up his cheating again;

Or

Stay, and go nuts.

You have to either leave (move in with friends or relatives who can take you in and help you) ... or stay and accept things as they are ... or stay and go nuts.

Those are your options.

I have to hand it to ya ... you sure picked a winner over there.

i be attentive to its previous yet i had to share my concepts and if every physique else is in an identical subject can help them to. First the ppl announcing you may bypass to detention center your a perv are incorrect to declare it you do no longer want ppl freaking u out plus that dosent help you Lern So stable activity on self administration wr all been young ones and be attentive to what its like yet i propose telling somebody u believe and could no longer in simple terms yell get u and her in difficulty ppl lots older and lots extra experience Have tousled Ether cheating or dozing or messing around with specifically situations the thoughts are ro solid and ppl do issues they shouldn't and at your age its complicated particularly complicated after a on an identical time as so in the previous some thing happens tell an person u believe or end babysitting statutory rape isn't any shaggy dog tale and if that occurs we the two be attentive to what's going to ensue if ppl locate out plus the way she acts doing each little thing methodically and correctly planned out i be attentive to ladies persons of their 20's who won't be able to seduce ppl no count number what some thing else is going on together with her in all probability

Detach yourself emotionally from that relationship it is doing you no good. Find yourself a job , if you live in the U.S. apply for welfare and they give you money a month if your not working and free daycare. You need t get away if you dont wanna get hurt anymore.

I think firstly you should make yourself stronger, you can help yourself out not others. Especially don't depend on him financially, if he cut down that, how could you and your kid live on? Ask a nanny for help, and you can go out for a work.

well if you okay with him sleeping around than stay. He probably has other children with other woman by now.