What the hell is wrong with me?

Think that i'm cursed with girls/women/relationships and that they will always leave me, reject me, cheat on me basicially i'll be hurt and life will go wrong all the time!!!

and i think if i'm happy something bad will happen when i'm in a relationship or in life...so im scared to be happy..

am I a schizophrenic to think im cursed???

my mind will obsess about it all day and night..if i try and ignore it ill end up thinking about, gets me down real down!!!

I have low self esteem aswell because i find i need attention and im afraid of being rejected and if it happens once it'll happen again and no matter what i do it will always happen

Feel like no point in trying because everything i do i think will turn to **** and ill get hurt...i'm afraid to be happy and confident!!! afraid to be happy because it'll turn crap!!!

this feeling of being cursed eases off if i stay away from girls but it stills bothers me a little and i want a loving confident relationship...wtf is up with me

how do i get out of this...this curse thing in relationships has got a hold over me and makes me think i cant get rid of it or deal with it.....

am i normal???

am i schizophrenic???

whats wrong with me..this curse seems real :(

all i want is to be like everyone else and think whats meant to be will be but its so hard!!

i obsess over this... what disorder do you think i have??? help.....