How would you improve this poem, I found it, then lost it?..Then found it again?

"consider you an a@sshole"....never made a poem any better...this started out well, and just became a rambling rant...so what is the point?...it lacks discipline and focus...

Hundreds of crappy poems assail our senses every day on Y;'answers...how tedious! I think, with all that to sift through, a poem that doesn't attempt some kind on internal rhyme or at least rhythm is hardly worth evaluating.

If the author could have duplicated the rhythm he set up in the first verse, which was very good, he would've had himself a poem.

"Free Verse...Schmree Verse!" --- Granny Crabtree

Stanza 1 intrigues the reader, giving a gentle

push to Stanza 2, a declaration of meaning

that urges the reader to continue.

Your friend is a gifted story teller.

The poem has the needed momentum

and descriptive elements that make

this poem very interesting.

Your friend is certainly talented.

Perhaps some revision, rewording would tighten this poem up a bit.

On the whole, very good.

Hi liz, whew glad it isn't yer poem.

Um I might alter a couple things in S 2, like even some internal rhyme, and now I wonder who this may have been directed at?

Best for me was the last.

Hmmm. I know people like this. It is hard not to think of them as animated ballistic gel.

But, I seem to catch a hint of wishing well for those who do evil to you. Sounds like granting unasked for forgiveness, even though you know the bad guy in the scene doesn't care.

Very interesting thoughts.

Cut everything from

"... I give this mess of words to all to read"

down.

If not cut, then at least rewrite. It comes off

as a bit trite after an expression of emotion.

The 'mess' represents a state of mind

and it actually does a pretty good job.

Maybe this is worth losing again, but as always, just my opinion. And wishing sweet dreams to an a s s hole seems to speak of a metaphor! lol

And stronger now, I have broken free-- I like this poem. Generally when I'm spittin mad my poetry sounds too hateful and I feel like apologizing after. Tell your friend I like her style.

Hi Lizzy. I am glad some find this poem a masterpiece.

Well, I am not a critic of such magnitude and kinda

feel out-gamed by them. And they agree, too. Wow!

I agree to Neon. You should continue losing the

masterpiece.. Κρίμα.

As I live and breathe, I have found poetry nirvana..

Mine eyes have read the glory..I can die now..

I like