I have some questions to ask?

Of Course it is ok to be sad. Even if it is God's plan that does not take away your feelings. You could volunteer with childrens groups & some cities have "foster grandparents" kind of like Big Brothers Big Sisters where you spend time with a child doing fun things.

Of course what you are feeling is prefectly normal and to be expected and I think you are dealing with this in a very honourable way to be honest..I hate to hear deep resentment from people who cannot have children against those who are fortunate enough.

Judging on what sort of person you sound,Im sure you could find a way to 'channel' this..Perhaps becoming more involved with the childrens productions at church,or some other organisation??..Some would perhaps say that this would be the last thing you needed but personally I think you sound like you have alot to give children,alot of love for them..why waste that?.

Have you never considered adoption or fostering?,,I appreciate it is not for everyone but it is a good way of helping unfortunate children and to be honest I don't 100% believe that you are 100% at ease with this choice that you and the husband have made???.You see it as 'God's will' that you have been unable to have children and I respect that but could it not also be God's will that you are having these feelings,propelling you to do something about it???.

Either way,I wish you the very best of luck in the future! xx