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my dad is always looking at porn?
I know a bunch of you are going to say it's normal and all that. But you have to understand my dad is a huge hypocrite. He used to be a preacher and is always talking about the bible and Jesus and blah blah. And yet he cheated on my mum (which she knows) and even though she thinks it's a thing of the past it's not. The cheating might be but the porn isn't and it pisses me off. By the way I wasn't snooping, it's just pretty obvious. Should I tell my mum?
10 Answers
- uncle louieLv 510 years agoFavorite Answer
Sex can be an addiction just like alcohol, drugs or smoking. It sounds to me that this might be the case with your dad.Maybe his struggle is what provoked him to discontinue his position in the church. It doesn't mean that he has given up on his faith or that he doesn't know what he is doing is wrong ... it means he needs help to understand his issues and figure out why it has become an addiction.Not many people can overcome such things on their own.
It's very possible that your mom understands, on some level that this is a problem for him but turns a blind eye because she doesn't know how to help him and underneath it all, it hurts her.Makes her feel like she is not enough or not attractive to him anymore. What we think and how we "feel" are often two different issues.
I think at this point both your dad and mom could benefit from counselling . Your dad, to overcome his addiction and your mom to help her understand what he's going through and that it isn't about her or what she means to him....but it needs to be with someone that specializes in this kind of addiction.
I think, because your dad has not lost his faith yet it is something he would obviously struggle with in this situation, you could maybe talk to someone at the church. Someone that knows your dad and may be able to help or you could talk to your mom. Let her know how this is effecting you and that you know she must be hurting. Maybe you can convince her to talk to your dad about it and they can seek help together.This is something that your mom and dad need to go through together, as a married couple .... I wouldn't advise that you confront your dad about it on your own.
There are people that can help... somebody just needs to get the ball rolling and in this case it would be better if it was your mom.... so talk to her and good luck : )
- Anonymous10 years ago
That's a rather difficult question. I do feel for you. In my opinion, your dad has something on his mind that is bugging him. The way he copes with the problem is by increased sexual things. Many people know when something is wrong with them, but very few actually act upon it due to the fact that they don't want anyone to know they are having a problem (human pride issue). If your dad is in his 40's, this may also be "mid-life crisis". In case you are not familiar with this, its this time at around the late 30's to the 50's in which an adult comes to a realization that they've lived half their life and still feel like they haven't accomplished anything. This is untrue of course, but you can't speak logic to someone who's convinced otherwise. They start to do odd things, such as chase younger women, or buy expensive cars or gadgets, or pursue "younger" interests. The looking at porn and cheating may be your dad's way of dealing with a mid-life crisis, or possibly an underlying mental condition such as depression. Depression is very common (I confess I have it), and there is a good chance that your father may be having it too, and this is how he is attempting to deal with it. What I think you should do is talk to a school psychologist or contact a help-line of some sort. An adult that does not know your family well is much better suited to helping you solve this problem because they will have no emotional ties to your family, so it won't get in the way of their decisions.
Source(s): I'm a teenager with a messed up family. - ?Lv 45 years ago
That's a as a substitute elaborate query. I do suppose for you. In my opinion, your dad has some thing on his brain that's bugging him. The manner he copes with the trouble is through expanded sexual matters. Many persons recognise whilst some thing is flawed with them, however only a few honestly act upon it when you consider that that they do not wish someone to grasp they're having a trouble (human delight quandary). If your dad is in his forty's, this can be "mid-lifestyles problem". In case you're now not accustomed to this, its this time at across the overdue 30's to the 50's wherein an grownup involves a awareness that they have got lived part their lifestyles and nonetheless suppose like they have not completed some thing. This is unfaithful of direction, however you are not able to talk common sense to anyone who is satisfied in any other case. They begin to do bizarre matters, similar to chase more youthful females, or purchase highly-priced automobiles or objects, or pursue "more youthful" pursuits. The watching at porn and dishonest is also your dad's manner of handling a mid-lifestyles problem, or probably an underlying intellectual situation similar to despair. Depression could be very normal (I confess I have it), and there's a well danger that your father is also having it too, and that is how he is making an attempt to manage it. What I suppose you will have to do is speak to a tuition psychologist or touch a aid-line of a few type. An grownup that doesn't recognise your household good is way larger suited for serving to you clear up this trouble since they are going to haven't any emotional ties for your household, so it may not get in the way in which in their selections.
- thelight123Lv 410 years ago
I am really sorry that this is happening to you, I couldn't stand it either but one this is, is that if your mom knows that he cheated on her then do you think she will care about the porn? I mean Yes! The porn is awful and it should not be in the house but will it really matter to her? It's a question you should really ask yourself. Maybe going to talking to your school councilor would be good first, just to kinda get this stuff off your chest because you might need it. I am really sorry that you have to go through that. If you really feel like you need to tell your mom, You should. Your dad is being a really bad person
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- 10 years ago
If it's bugging you that much then tell your mom. She probably knows this too tho, I mean it's her husband. Just be ready for it to blow up in your face if your dad gets angry.
- Anonymous10 years ago
How old is he? At around thirty-forty, a person reaches their sexual peak and are pretty interested in sex. I'd probably still talk to your mom about it. I know how annoying that can be e_e
- 10 years ago
im sure your mother already knows but you should tell your mom if it bothers you this much. hopefully its just porn and not looking to find other women.
- 10 years ago
Tell your mom to give your dad more sex so he will stop looking at porn
- Anonymous10 years ago
Im sure if you know she does. Just let it play out.
- Anonymous10 years ago
thast not normal. its normal for teens. i think ur dad is a weirdo. tell ur mom. or something.