Feelings for my Ex-Husband?

You need to tread very carefully here. Not only for your, but for your ex-husband's sake as well. You were already disheartened by the selfish acts of your children (I hope you don't mind my saying so...) your ex shows up unplanned (I'm assuming)...and a wonderful evening ensues between the two of you. I have no doubt of what your ex-husand's feelings were during this time...it's YOUR feelings that I'm asking you to ruminate on. I also think it's entirely possible to have a second chance, but only if your feelings really were those of tenderness towards your ex, rather than simply a welcome respite from your disappointment in your children. I also believe that neither of you are the people you were 9 years ago...which in this case, may be a very good thing.

It sounds to me more like you're attempting to make nothing out of something...which could turn out to be a much bigger tragedy than making something out of nothing. I do think that if, after a solid week, you still cannot get him out of your mind...there just may be something to it. Why not find out what that is? I say invite him to dinner again. You already know he's still willing...I just wouldn't want you breaking HIS heart again...you sound like the kind of person who would take THAT even harder than having your own broken again...

EDIT: After seeing the answers regarding your many personas...I checked profile and sure enough...you ARE a soul-less cockroach who exploits others' good will for your own entertainment. I also noticed that most of the questions you answered were about soap operas...I suggest you stick to them for your fantasy scenarios from now on...

I would advise you to suggest that the two of you go to counseling, if he wants to consider a second chance. You need to have someone who can stand back and look at the situation objectively listen to the both of you. Why were you divorced in the first place? I think you're lonely and were feeling vulnerable because you were disappointed that your children had left. You have to consider that both of you are bringing baggage to the table. How would your children feel about this? Just because there seems be be maturity in him that wasn't present 9 years ago doesn't mean there really is anything different about his character. A person is what he is. He may present a slightly different package on the outside, but the inside is what counts. Sit down and make a list of the pros and cons about him. Go to counseling, and listen to what the counselor has to say.

Spending 5 pleasant hours with an ex and hungering for more sounds like a plausible reason to be interested in exploring the possibilities. I doubt I could survive 5 minutes with my ex. I'd suggest you feel out the children on this and listen carefully to what they think. Don't get their hopes up too high until you're sure of what your ex has in mind. Good Luck and I think I envy you.

Oh, poor baby. I don't know if you are a believer in Christ or not, but if you are then pray and ask Him to guide you. Follow that peace that goes with whatever answer you're looking for. You'll know if it's right or not. Those "uncommon" things that you speak of can be worked out since you both are more mature now. They won't seem so important when love is the foundation of a relationship. Listen, there is nothing wrong with going back to your first husband if you believe it will work out this time. Though, I'd hate for you to be hurt again. Sounds like he hasn't given up on you and you sound like you are realizing that he really does care for you. It is wonderful to be with a person who loves you enough to wait for you. Blessings to you. :)

You write a good letter, excellent in fact. The suggestion to ask the children and folk who knew you as a couple would be the best advice. If you are happy single, I would think hard about rocking the boat.

I see that you watch a lot of soap operas, and that your postings depend on who you feel like pretending to be on any given day of the week.

This question is not bad, but you could spice it up by saying that when your dad stayed for dinner with your mom, he confessed to her that his doctor had just told him that he has a rare, but non-communicable form of neurasthenic pernicious malaria that is going to kill him in three months. And when your mom heard that, she was so overcome with grief that she confessed that the only reason she ever divorced him was because she had a secret opportunity to take a job as a high-priced call-girl, and she's been making big money in the sex industry ever since.

People can change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. It's not possible for anyone on here to be able to know how much you have both changed. Hopefully, as we travel through life we learn by our mistakes and make corrections.

I think you need to do some quiet reflections on what caused the marriage breakdown. Be honest with yourself, few breakdowns are all one sided. Evaluate those qualities in your ex that were the major cause of the failure. Have those issues been truly addressed?

All of us have the right to make catastrophic mistakes; to learn by them and to re-invent ourselves. You need to determine whether both or either of you have done that.

Let's see your 18 and started your freshman year of college,and you have been married for the last 21years and have 6 children and are pregnant with twins,and your also 34 years old!WOW!

Take it slow and remember the reasons your marriage ended. If you two were to reunite with unsolved issues, you would be back into the same whirlpool which caused you two to dissolve your marriage.

ask your self whats the worst that can happen and the best , most likely it will fall somewhere in between if you can handle the worst go for it