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How to deal with my family?
Okay so i am going in for a csection very soon and my family wants to be there waiting during this time with my 4 year old son. I really would prefer they wait to come up after i am in recovery because first off i would like to see my oldest see his baby brother for the first time and also i feel like it would just be 10 times as hard on me to see my 4 year old right before i go into surgery. It is already really scary and i would rather him not see me cry. My problem is my family is being very demanding about the whole thing. They act like i am letting everyone but them come up before but i am letting NOBODY but my husband be there before. My mom asked me last week what i would prefer and this is what i told her and now just days before surgery she gets me all stressed out by flipping out on me over my choice. I want to hold my new son for the first time, see him with his big brother, and spend some time with my hubby and our new baby alone before the whole family rushes in. This is really important to me and my mother just can't handle it. I don't know what to do. If they come i am going to feel so slighted and feel like i didn't get this one thing the way i wanted it. Also if i tell them yes than i have to tell my hubby's family yes and they are a HUGE family. He has 17 siblings and his parents plus step parents and on and on. I just remember with my first being so out of it i did not get to enjoy the family time anyway. How do i make her listen and how do i keep from feeling guilty for making a decision that was supposed to be mine? Any advice?
3 Answers
- ?Lv 710 years agoFavorite Answer
Let me start by saying you are absolutely NOT being selfish at all. This is your delivery, your baby, your family, your decision. If they don't like it at the moment they will get over it eventually. If they do show up they can wait in the waiting room until after you've had family time with your husband, son and new baby. Tell the nurses that you don't want anyone but your husband and son there and they will not allow anyone else in, simple as that. I know you don't want to offend anyone but honestly, they will get over it in a very short amount of time and if they can't understand that you and your husband want this time with your new addition then they don't need to be there at all. Don't feel guilty, this is for you, your husband and your children. You will feel worse in the long run if you let them push you into letting them be there. Good luck and stand your ground.
Source(s): Mom to Savanna Carolynn born June 13, 2011 <3 - 10 years ago
Have a conversation with your doctor ... maybe your doctor can help you control the crowds and help direct the family in your best interests. If this is causing you stress and concern, your doctor would definitely want to talk to your husband and would be willing to talk to your parents to ensure that you are as healthy as possible as you have your surgery.
