How do i tell him, help me please!?

Been in your shoes. Almost identicaL.

In-laws helped us buy our first home. We had the "pop-in" visits constantly. I felt at a loss because, even though it was our home, they helped us buy it. This is where my husband was supposed to step up and speak with his parents in our behalf. But he didn't.

Long story short, he was their son first. My husband second. After a couple of years of being at my in-laws mercy, I left. I still hurt to this day about it.

Your boyfriend needs to stand up to his mom. He loves her and is very grateful for her help with giving you her house. But it needs to stop there. It looks like she gave you two her house knowing she would always have control over her son. And he's allowing that to happen.

If I were you, I'd sit down and have a serious talk with your boyfriend. Show him my response if you need to. I have a suggestion. Maybe you two could start paying her a little every month toward your house. I know, I know. She "gave" it to you. But ask yourself this. Did she really?

I think it is time to have a chat and establish the basis on which you and your boyfriend are living in this house. It was very generous of your mother-in-law to move out to accommodate you both; but you have got to know the limitations/conditions of this tenancy. Your mate should be able to understand that this lack of independence is quite upsetting to you. Tell him that you would prefer to rent a small place instead just so you can have control over managing your space. Ask him, if the roles were reversed, if he would be comfortable with the situation. Does he want to be an independent man or a mama's boy? If he can't see your point of view, you have to face some serious decisions!

In the meantime, have a private chat with his mom and ask if she would mind your slightly converting the living accommodations to suit the needs of its current occupants. It might help if you paid a small rental to her so she doesn't feel as if she is doing you all such a big favor. Good luck.

Well does she pay for the house still? If she does then you are tehnically living in her house and there's nothing you can do. If it was me i'd update the rooms without asking, just start treating it like it's your house and she should get the message. **** your boyfriend, just tell his mum yourself that you need space and you love hving her come over for cups of tea but that she can't just walk in at any moment. If she does it again act all suprised and tell her she has to leave because you're just having a bath. Tell her she has to call first, or at least knock.