How can I get a girlfriend?

Question

I'm pretty lonely. I've never really had a girlfriend. I was in a long distance relationship for a couple of months but it was too hard. I'm 19 and other than that LDR, I've never had an actual girlfriend. I'm not ugly, I've been told I'm pretty good looking and I'm in good shape but I have really bad self esteem. I have severe anxiety and depression and it's hard to go out and be myself and not be shy around others, espcially around girls I find attractive. I know having a nice girl as my girlfriend will make me much happier but I don't know how to accomplish that. People say to be yourself, but being myself is being anti social and overly nice (which seems to be a major turn off to girls) and not expressing myself. I've tried therapy but it hasn't really helped.

Reaganomics · Accepted Answer

Ask yourself these questions,

1) Do you feel like you deserve somebody?
2) Do you think that you would have the commitment for a relationship?

If you have bad self esteem, you will put that as your self-fulfilling prophecy, or in other words, if you don't believe you deserve somebody you will act accordingly, won't be social, you'll sabotage your relationships with people who get too close.  I do that, and I know it's a hard cycle to get out of.  

If you want you can sign up for emails from David DeAngelo.  These are free, and they have helped me understand what goes on in woman's heads.  http://www.doubleyourdating.com/

Gary · Answer

Omg you sound just like me. It really sucks tell me about. How I got my first and only gf we're broken up now and ive felt like you for a long time. i was bullied at school. But how i got her was through a blind double date with my friends gf's friend. But seriously were do you find women who like to date!!? My friend tells me everywhere just start talking with any girl but yeah i have low self esteem and im told i look great so yeah. Plus the girl u talk w might not be interested so he says its a ratio thing asks alot. maybe at a party thats were my brother met his recently ex. Im just gonna excessive and be healthy my confidence might build up over time and who knows maybe ill c a girl eyeing me. r u on any medication?

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How can I get a girlfriend?

2 Answers