My wife says we don't communicate enough. What should I do?

Mike, here are a few thoughts. I think your wife is lonely, not bored. I think she's lonely for you. I don't believe you can or should talk to her like her friends. I understand your need for alone time too. Perhaps if you say to her that you just need 20 minutes or so to unwind and then you will be ready to talk to her, that will help her feel less left out. When you are available, be fully there. No television on, or any distractions. Also, I think a lot of women think they want their men to talk more but what they really want is for their men to listen, without interrupting to fix or criticize. So see if she really just wants you to listen to her. Then again, maybe she does want you to talk to her. But, Mike, she's not really interested in your hobbies so much. How about talking to her about how you feel about her? I think what she really needs is some emotional nurturing. This can be fun and sexy. Even describing your perfect idea of a romantic day with just the two of you. Tell her what you like about her. Tell her what you want to do to her later on. Be creative. Leave notes in her lingerie drawer. Light some candles. Help cook dinner. Be playful. I hope some of these things spark some ideas of your own. Best wishes.

Yeah, I have to say I agree with DM. Why is it that you're supposed to change your communication style for her, but she's not willing to do the same? I realized years ago that my husband processes information differently than I do. He's more goal focused, while I'm more process focused. So I know that if I'm going to keep his attention I need to be concise and not be vague about what I want.

As far as your becoming more quiet when you're stressed, I am like you-- I get quiet and preoccupied. My husband used to take that pensiveness as anger. Now I know I have to just let him know I'm working through something-- and he's happy to give me space.

I guess my suggestion for both of you would be to first, set aside some time each day to talk. Maybe set aside 15 minutes after work each day to catch up and reconnect. That's probably what she's really looking for-- some connection time. Also, I'd suggest letting her know exactly what you need from her, and telling her to do the same. If you need alone time, tell her. If she needs something from you, encourage her to tell you outright, not expect you to read her mind.

It's a basic difference between men and women.

I've worked with men for most of my adult life- I like their clear, concise way of communication.

What are you? A mind reader? If she is bored it's because SHE is boring. She needs to let you know she is bored and the two of you can do something together. And, why does the conversation need to be only about topics that interest her? She should listen as well as she expects you to.

If she needs a good quack about everything and nothing- that is what her girlfriends are for!!

This does pi55 me off about women.

Sit down and just talk about anything, even if she is bore or don't understand what you are talking about. Do it when she wants to watch something she likes on tv. keep it up until she tells you to shut up. Just talk talk .

this is a tuff one, men and women speak different languages lol. she just wants to be considered and appriciated and she wants her husband to be interested in her life. if your tired let her know and tell her youll talk after a nap, your wife is a beutiful woman probably and is unique and interesting and your missing out

since you are not good at long conversations talk to her more often. and a little flattery with a quick pat on the rump will go a long way. plus a kiss on the neck while she is doing dishes would not hurt. always remember to look at her when you are talking.

You two should both read the book "Men are from mars, women are from venus" and the book of days version. I have both books and reading them has helped me very much in understanding my relationship.