What to do about a child who doesn't like to eat a-lot at mealtimes?

I've worked with children since the age of 11. I have taught preschool classes, Sunday School classrooms, worked in daycares, and provided home childcare for childen ranging in age from newborn to 16 years old. There are many reasons why a child chooses not to eat at meal times.

Possible reasons that may or may not apply in your case:

Too large of portions - make a fist with one of your hands, and then split your fist down the middle (imagine that size). This is the size portion that an average toddler through preschooler eats. Always start with less on their plate and have them ask for more if they are still hungry. It will cut down on the nagging for them to eat every bite, and seem less overwhelming for them.

Not enough meals throughout the day/constantly hungry - this one is very common. Children really need 4-5 small meals throughout the day rather than big meals at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. A child who is given a very light meal periodically throughout the day tends to eat better and healthier than a child who pigs out at dinner time because it's the largest meal of the day.

Over snacking - this one is also very common. Some parents think that every time their child asks for a snack it means they are hungry and they have to feed the child. The fact of the matter is that many kids have developed unhealthy habits of eating snacks every time they are bored, every time they watch television, etc. So just because a child says they are hungry, does not necessarily mean that they are actually hungry.

Make mealtime fun - this is one of the easiest fixes, try to make meal time fun. Pour milk into a cup that changes colors as the child empties the cup. Use plates that have favorite animals or characters on them so that the child will eat to see the characters. Offer dessert only if the child eats a certain portion of the meal that is agreed upon a head of time.

Let the child help plan the meals - this one sounds like you are opening a huge can of worms, but really it's the easiest way to get a young child to eat. Let the child choose the meal at least once a week. Sit down with the child on a specific day and say what would you like for dinner Monday night or Saturday night, or whichever night applies. Let the child list their favorite foods, and then prepare those foods that night. Helping plan the meals will not only help encourage the child to eat, but also help him/her feel like they are part of the family.

Let the child help with preparation - it's so easy to want your kids out of the kitchen while you are cooking, but letting them in the kitchen to help cook can actually encourage them to eat. If you need to stir something, let your child stir. If you need to crack eggs, let your child crack the eggs. If you need to toss a salad, let your child help. Of course supervise your child while they are helping prepare dinner, keep them away from the hot stove, and follow other safety tips like keeping knives out of reach, but letting them help can definitely make a difference.

Give the child a meal time job - each member of the family should be involved in meal time. Give your child a job to do that leads into meal time. It could be setting the table, putting silverware on the table, passing out napkins, pouring milk, etc. When a child is given a chance to help out, they are more inclined to eat because they had a chance to help prepare for meal time.

When all else fails, don't force your child. They willl eat when they are hungry. If they are refusing snacks and not eating at all, then talk to the pediatrician, as they could have stomach or digestion problems. But if they simply "aren't hungry" occassionally, then you don't need to be overly concerned.

As a mum and a former parenting and childbirth educator, I say he sounds pretty normal. Appetites rise and fall rapidly in those early years, just make sure he gets enough water (kids never drink enough plain water!)

And don't worry, he won't starve. Dr. T. Berry Brazelton used to tell parents of toddlers that all they really needed was something like 'a serving of milk, a half slice of bread, a serving of orange juice, and a multivitamin' (IIRC. Maybe he said a piece of cheese, too)!

A 3-1/2yo is also going to be learning about navigating his world, controlling his own actions, making his own choices. Sometimes saying "no" is the only control they have (or more likely, "no no no no NO!")!

I would try giving him choices. It gives him some autonomy and also helps him to learn how to make decisions. Instead of saying "eat this food!" which sets up an argument of "no!" try saying, "would you like 1 or 2 carrot sticks with your peanut butter?" (or "would you like your carrot sticks cut in 2 pieces or three?") Instead of "drink all your milk" try "do you want your milk in your red cup or your blue cup?" or "do you want to finish your milk now or after you eat your sandwich?" You get the idea, just give him choices. Choices=autonomy and autonomy=happy ;-)

I, too, have a slow eater, and we joke about how she "flunked lunch" in preschool. The teachers told me about how they had to nag her to finish, etc., and I was surprised I told them to simply let her know, "when the big hand on the clock is on the 6, lunch is over, and we will not have any more food until after nap!" And, after a day or two of having most of her lunch binned, she learned to eat or go hungry till afternoon snacktime. It has not done her any harm. She is still a slow eater, normal weight, quite well-adjusted and food is not an "issue" for her.

He's just not a big eater (and since you give him snacks, I'm not surprised). Not neccisarily anything wrong with that. Some kids eat TONS and some kids don't eat much of anything. It's important that he gets all the nutrition he can get right now so ALL of his snacks, meals and drinks should be well balanced, nutrition wise. No junk. I also suggest putting him on a multi vitamin and perhaps a nutritional supplement drink as well ( pediasmart is much better than pediasure)

Ohh I`m sorry -- I can relate :) My girls have always been picky eaters and I know it`s frustrating. It`s definitely a regular phase -- not all kids go through it, but plenty of kids do. It`s important that he eats -- obviously -- but sometimes picky eaters can be a challenge.

For us, a great thing was to talk to our girls and ask what they wanted to eat. When our eldest developed pickiness with her food, she was about 3 and so we said, `Piper, what food do you want for dinner`and then we made a chart with different stickers with different foods on them and so we had a list of her favorite foods. She loved pizza and she loved potatos and corn and almost all fruits and crackers, so we tried to get those into her meals or snacks if we could, that way she`d get a `treat`of an apple if she ate whatever else we gave her. Another thing we used to get them more interested is we let them help in the kitchen. Both girls really loved watching me cook or helping with measuring and stirring and when they were more involved with the dinner, they were usually more likely to enjoy it. Another thing we did, when we knew we`d just reheat something from the freezer, is we`d give them a choice out of two `Do you want macaroni or lasange` and that way they`would have an option and feel more involved.

Good luck!!!

Sounds like a typical kid! It is healthier to eat several small meals/snacks a day than big ones. You could try giving him empty snacks that wont stick with him before meals, like popcorn, rice cakes, fruit, etc., but I wouldn't push him. You don't want him to dislike meal time or develop a habit of eating more than what his tummy needs. Also, you might want to refrain from liquids when he eats, let him drink afterward. This is how I grew up because my parents got tired of us kids gulping a big glass of milk and then not having room for 'real' food.

My niece used to be quite the picky eater, and in general didn't eat a lot as toddler. She wasn't getting the nutrition she needed. But when her mom started giving her B12 supplements, everything changed. She is a great eater now and she is healthier. I'm not an expert on B12 but I do know it is a very important vitamin. I suggest you look into it. Good luck!

It's really common for kids of this age to have less of an appetite at meal time. Simply put, their tummies ARE small and they really aren't hungry. If he's not begging for junk food throughout the day, you're fine. It's healthier for kids to graze anyway. I leave a 'happy plate' out in the afternoon and my son snacks on it. It has things like a sliced apple, cheese slices, crackers, raisins, etc. on it. Water is also unlimited. I don't allow juice except at meal times because it gives a false sense of 'fullness' if you just sip on juice all day. Juice is not for thirsty kids. Thirsty kids drink water. Juice is for kids that just want something sweet all the time.

Please please please please please please please don't be one of those parents that makes their kids eat everything on the plate. If he's actually hungry he WILL eat.

To sum it up quickly:

This is normal

It's way better to graze throughout the day than it is to eat three big meals

Kid portions are a lot smaller than adult portions

Don't let him sip on milk or juice when it isn't meal time

Don't force him to eat when he isn't hungry

I always taught my son that you eat when you are hungry and you stop when you are full. Period. If you live by this, you'll never have weight issues or eating disorders.

Well Im the same.

I eat 4 or 5 small meals throughout the day rather than 3 big meals as my stomach just isnt big enough.

its also more healthy to eat smaller meals. So I wouldnt mind.

let him be . respect him that he does not want to eat so much. he will be healthier for it. do not over feed him.