Do you ever revamp your old poems?

Question

I wrote this from the perspective of the mythological figure Psyche a few months ago. The parts now in brackets are Cupid's responses.

Psyche [and Cupid]


Come to me here at midnight,
Leave off every light.
Warm my bed and hold me tight.

[I will not have you only like a sleuth
Am I so weak? That sight of truth
Shall turn my love to stone aloof?]

Feel my plastic sensuality
But you must never see,
Forget instead the reality.

[plasticity's no company
In this fragile economy
Blinders cannot hide the fleas.]

Days are awe-filled masquerades,
Truths are rusty hand grenades,
Walk with me, instead, sweet glades.

[Explode me, I am yours to fry
Behind the masks it's hard to cry
The weeded fields have grown too high.]

Ne'er reveal to simpleton sight
That crazed, demented arc-light
Stay a-bed in passion's bight.

[the water is cold, I start to prune
Electric'ly I jump and swoon
Show me, your true dementing moon.]

You, alas, must leave before the dawn
If you glimpse me, I shall be wrong
Psyche shreds him who stays too long.

[Wrong or right, you are my love
Fins below or tentacles above
Show me what I am part of.]

Copyright hgl 2011

Syreaa · Accepted Answer

I often revamp some of my old poems.  It helps me with some assignments when we have to turn something in.  I can just turn back to my older poems.  When it comes to the poem you've put here, I would say you should put Cupid's response in italics.  If you want the poem edited, just shoot me an email and I'd be happy to.

Anonymous · Answer

staggering imagery in this poem. I cherished the bluebell woods even as i change right into a newborn and the affection has stayed with me because that. we are fortunate interior the united kingdom to have some staggering wooded area coated in an ocean of blue at the moment of three hundred and sixty 5 days. they're fairly properly worth looking for. you have not lived until eventually you've taken a walk interior the spring, to confirm the bluebells. staggering poem

P&#39;quaint! · Answer

Not only harsh,  that was uncalled for!!!  Seeing insults where there're none.  Is this REALITY,  HH?!?  

What she's suggesting is the common practice...she may not have realised it can't be done here!  That's all.

Weaving harsh realities with soft illusions is called Art of Living...IMO :)

Rayven53 · Answer

I like it Hap ol' buddy...tho' a wee harsh in the additionals! ;) Coulda just said..."You try italics an' lemme know how it works out!" Idiot was...Oh wait...I should just be commentin' on your poem...sowwy! MWWOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can be such a  busybody!

Was awesome...and to answer your question truly...only those written to previous wives too good to toss! LMBOROF On'y the names have been changed to protect the curent! NYUK NYUK NYIKES!

THE BANNIBAL ONE · Answer

You have an imagination,using cliches.
This here is awesome.
Come to me here at midnight,
Leave off every light.
Warm my bed and hold me tight.
You wrote that? BRAVO.
Maybe drop Cupid,find another word that rhymes.

Yesu Ben · Answer

I do revamp my poems to fix, give zing, to convert into another form, once or twice. Great rhyming poem BTW.

. · Answer

I didn't see the original that I can recall, but this one is showing you are smarter than I. Nice one, Hap.

lovechild · Answer

I am also offended by the implied admonishment concerning use of italics herein.

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Do you ever revamp your old poems?

8 Answers