Does my poem about being a teenager makes any sense?

Times are tough for teens anew

Life is long and very askew

Social skills do bring new friends

And foes do not make ammends

Learning lessons takes much time

Right through life into their prime

Looks and beauty are shallow needs

But flowers are nicer than ugly weeds

Thoughts of issues can turn their mind

To wastelands of dread so very unkind

Passing puberty can be distraughtful

For the unwary, it's so unthoughtful

Later teens think they're mature

But really are just so simple and pure

Heading for that start of adulthood

May stop some, if only they could.

Here's my two cents:

•I think you are trying too hard to rhyme. The language makes less sense when you're too concerned with rhyming than the main point.

•some parts didn't make much sense (i don't understand how life is "askew)

•You used a lot of "filler" words to keep the rhythm going. These words aren't very creative and don't really add to the poem itself. Don't want to sound harsh, but I can see at least one filler word in every line. I use an online thesaurus to find more interesting words that can still keep the beat going.

•I don't think stanza 6 makes much sense. When I read it I as thinking, "how can puberty be unthoughtful?"

•the last line didn't make much sense to me.

Hope I didn't sound too harsh, just wanna help :) email me with some more poetry if you'd like some critique. And keep writing!

Can someone read my poem?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag3h9...

Well if it's not exactly linear, then neither is the teenager experience, so that's faithful. One problem is that "teens" is such an unpoetic word, placing an automatic distance between the speaker and the subject. Would it help to write it in first person? Get an "I' in there somewhere? Last line isn't as clear as the rest of it, maybe it needs a re-work. You're writing what you know, and your voice sounds authentic, so keep buffing this down and you'll have something. Good luck.

Take the words of my sweet sister BG, she knows.

I think you presented a case as well as any could, and I was a teen 4 years ago, and can relate.

I do wanna say though, don't deny us as we age,,,our sometimes very alive, inner child.

Ya may only be young once, but ya can be immature forever.

Distraughtful

I think it makes sense, I like your poem a lot!

Great job on it, looks like you put effort in it :)

I think it makes sence to teenagers.Coz little it focuses on teenagers.

very nice.it sees slightly abstract .it makes you think about what you are saying .