Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Why would he act so keen if he had no feelings for me?

My friend introduced me to a man who is a little older than me (I'm 44 an he's 52). We exchanged emails, talked on the phone and then met up. On the second date we had a kiss and cuddle on the sofa and he asked if we were now dating and I said yes ok.

He started phoning me every night (sometimes twice if he didn't have much time the first time) and dated a couple more times. I was happy to kiss and cuddle and he fondled my breasts and made it very clear he was attracted to me. He arrange tickets for us to attend an event in March and kept telling me how beautiful I was.

We were talking on the phone one night about something else and he said he couldn't wait to get me into bed. I told him that I would rather wait until we could spend the whole night together as I wanted it to be special. I felt a little pressured to have sex but thought it was ok as he seemed so keen on me.

The only negative part to this time was his tendency to talk about his exes, most of which he was still in contact with, and one whom he described as his soul mate.

He eventually stayed the night on both the Friday and Saturday and everything went well and we planned for him to meet my kids the following weekend. I next saw him on the Tuesday for a meal and afterwards we went back to bed at his house. We talked afterwards and he again mentioned his exes so I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel. He then said "Actually I think we had sex together too soon as I have no feelings for you."

Naturally I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

What I can't understand is, why was he dating me, phoning me every night, making future plans and having sex with me if he had no feelings for me?

Why did he think we had sex too early when he was the one pushing for it?

Update:

I'm not naive - I have met plenty of players. I honestly thought he liked me - he was saying we would have to thank the friend who introduced us... and she wouldn't have put us in touch if she thought he was a player.

I admit the soul mate was a red flag, but she had married someone else, he told me he believed you could have more than 1 soul mate and he had dated someone else for several months since that relationship had ended.

How can you tell a player from a genuine guy? Yes I know not to have sex too quickly, but at what point do you decide they are not just there for the sex?

Thanks

5 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honey men work differently then us women. Men Give us love for sex and We women give sex for love.

    We feed off of affection and men are a little more complex, Men are more observant and Pay attention to what we lack of and then just give what they think we need and then if we get what we want most of us end up giving them what they want which mostly ends up being sex. and if there intention were not sincere they just get up and leave. cause men enjoy the chase of a good women. feel free to ask for more advice. hope this helps. KEEP IN MIND: We make are decision based on what we desire, so make sure of what you want and if it is truly worth it. Cause there are STD out there. STD= Sexually Transmitted Diseases like Aids. Be careful cause I care. Your Friend Tesuo

  • Ann
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    I love it when a woman wants to set up a date or shows interest in me. There is nothing I have found that Say's the man has to do all of the work in a relationship. There is nothing like the feeling of getting a text message or phone call just to say I miss you. As for the Grey area each relationship has it's own unique way of showing if it's just going to be casual or if it is leading somewhere and that is cured by what is called the exclusive talk.

  • 9 years ago

    Oh come on. You can't be that innocent. Men will say and do almost anything to get sex and it has nothing to do with romantic feelings just hormones. Sorry, maybe that's a bit blunt but you're not a kid just starting out dating. If you are looking for Mr Right good luck but you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    He sounds bipolar. <.< And you STILL had sex with him when he described somebody *else* as his soulmate? Well, sht, I didn't read the red signs until it was too late with my ex, too.

    Why was he datnig you and phoning you every night? Well, he does have no feelings for you. He wanted sex, and that's it. Unfortunantly there are some heartless individuals like this <.<

    answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiOAi...

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 9 years ago

    Girl, you been played. If you had seex, check with your gynochologist.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.