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moneymatters
moneymatters asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 years ago

A father's responsibilities?

My father ditched out on our family when i started high school. he visits every 6 months or so. i am about to go to college and i am meeting with him in a month. part of the divorce agreement is that he is required to pay for my college expenses. i am grateful for this, but i know he would not be doing so if it weren't required by law.

At dinner in a month i plan on presenting him with a list of fatherly responsibilities he failed to accomplish, and in part, how i would like him to make up for the past four years. i never got to have a dad there when i went on a date, or needed help with math homework, or needed money for a nice dress to a dance.

will you help me define what you believe to be the father's role and responsibility during adolescence. (such as responsibilities with education, fostering relationships, finances, religion, etc) ?

I plan on using this list to explain to him exactly what he didn't do, so he is aware of how he hurt me, and how i would like him to fix it..

Update:

Just as a side note, my father abused my mother, left without saying goodbye, calls me every few months and visits far less often, and has never truly apologized. im looking for closure and a way to move on. He has never been there for me. This is the only way i believe i can feel like he can make up for what he has done, if he finally faces it.

4 Answers

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  • Minda Now
    Lv 4
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ever hear of the golden rule?

    Would you like someone to give you a list of things you failed to do?

    Ever hear of the saying, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you?"

  • just_my_opinion
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Of course your father wasn't there when you went on a dates, needed help with homework, etc. etc., because *your parents were divorced*. How in the world do you think he could be there for those things? This is life when you have a broken family--and since the divorce rate is so high, frankly it's life for the majority of children. Obviously he financially supported you and he was a part of your life to some degree. Put on your big girl panties, realize that life isn't perfect, get over it, and move on. Presenting him with a "list" is incredibly childish. If you're really having such a hard time dealing with this, go get some counseling.

  • ♠ Merlin ♠
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    instead of presenting him with a list of his failings

    why dont you give him a list of your hopes and dreams for the future?

    nothing will give you back what you have lost

    but this could ensure you have the future you want

    i cant see giving him this list of his shortcomings is going to do anything but alienate him more

  • SupernaturalGirl
    9 years ago

    Well I am not really sure if this is a good or bad idea, but I know how you feel. My dad was never there for me either.

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