Martial Artists: Do you find it harder to "care"?

It was also things that keeps me bothering a while, because my thoughts had been occupied with things I had to provide with my family, I am contented for what I had and communicating with them makes me satisfied on my everyday life, because I am away with them due to my recent work station, and being real on the people around me, is one thing I didn't realize that I already hit their ego and pride, I notice that they are making space towards me due to some unexpected reasons.

And due to said matter, I have to make some adjustments again, or do something to get them back the way they deal things with me, but things had been broken and the crack had been done, and it seems that I have to look for new set of friends that they understand the way I am and not because there is something they need from me.

Be aware that you cannot please everybody around you, just do your part as a human, a responsible man on your family and true person among your friends, because in any pain and glory, true friends will never left you hanging around.

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I have not "felt" or "cared" in many years.

There is a Hindu saying, "When an actor gets bitten by a sponge snake, he writhes and falls and goes through the motions of death. With a skilled actor, the entire audience is moved, but the actor knows it to be false, and so though he goes through the motions, he feels noting".

When one does not care about death, it is hard to take any of the problems of the world seriously. This does not make us evil or insane as many would like to think, it just means we see beyond the unimportant drama. Children die, that is terrible. I can look at the dying children and not shed a tear. I will help those who I can help because it is in my nature to do so, but that does not mean I share their pain. I want to help the word, but I do not "care" about the world. I am doing my part in a play.

People live there lives one great triumph to one grave misery. This is useless. When the mind is equitable, circumstance becomes a thing or irreverence.

Many people take this the wrong way. I am not cold or cruel, and most of those close to me would never geuse that I am completely unfeeling. When people need a shoulder to cry one, I am there, I just can not sympathies with their sadness because to me they are all worked up over nothing. It is like a parent letting a child cry to them about scraping there knee. They may be there for the child, but they also know how small and insignificant the wound.

This is a mentality the scares most people, but that is how it is I suppose. I like it, it keeps you calm. When your world is crumpling around you you do not so much as blink, how much less so when others worlds are crumbling. There is nothing wrong with this.

I've realized that people will realize what they want to realize, and seeing what this is isn't hard to do if you know how to read into what and how they right. The people I think are just fishing for something (agreements, arguments, etc.) I just completely avoid about their questions, opinions or anything else, for the most part. In that sense, I don't care.

To be honest, I don't believe you. To not entirely care is to not have basic emotion, which is inhuman. Words can hurt, but they don't all run so deep. Getting hate mail (as I've had my fair share as well) is impractical and is easily seen through.

There's a difference of not caring and not knowing how to help someone. If someone's question/concern is so grave that you can't understand it all to give them proper insight on either how to help it or change it, then it's easy to through your hands up and say "not my problem" and "I don't care". It's a lie, but that's what's human. I call that convenient thinking. It's also saying that you have no answer to their problem.

Ouch, I hope I never turn that cold. That being said, I'm assuming the grave problem really is a grave problem, not something like, "oh, I'm so upset, we were supposed to go bike riding today and it rained."

I've found through my martial arts journey, I care more about others than I used to, maybe more than I should. I found out a friend of mines 11 year old niece was diagnosed with leukemia and I was very upset by it. Now I've never met this girl, but it was still really upsetting to me. Maybe because as I've gotten older, I relate things back to my family and how would I feel "IF".

I sincerely wish you luck with changing this, if you want to that is. Life is a lonely place when you focus on the "I" instead of the "we".

EDIT - Ok, I think I misunderstood the basis of who you don't care about. If you are talking about not caring about people on this forum, I don't blame you, most of the people on here are trolls anyway. If you're talking about not caring about anyone in general in your real life, then my original answer applies.

Technically, i'm a semi-professional martial artist. i receives a fee to coach a martial artwork area time, and that i have not competed in both Taekwondo or Judo outdoors of the community element. because the previous poster stated, if I made an finished-time residing at it or made adequate money competing to be in a position to help a relatives in a effective community, then i'd say i'm a "specialist". i'd quite that human beings call me a specialist although than to apply that moniker for myself.

Like the Sinatra song "regrets I have a few though too few to mention".

As I get older I find I do less things to regret. Wish I had started earlier.LOL

I feel concern for those I know when they are hurting or struggling. I also tend to try to be in the present and not dwell in the past or to far in the future. This tends to help keep me balanced inside. Trying to improve the world I have found works best when you try improving the world immediately around you first. Family, Friends, Students, Co workers, in widening circles of diminishing importance. Yes it is a good thing to be concerned about the worlds condition. We can realistically only do so much as individuals. Also if our core of community is not healthy we can be of little use to the wider world.

I tend to not worry on trivial things and sometimes I give flippant remarks. Gets me a few hate mails. Sometimes I can be brutally honest and that usually gets me really nasty hate mail even threats!

I have seen grinding poverty in this country. You don't need to go too far to find hunger illness and all the other ills of the world.

Caring is best with action. Caring need not burn you out if you realize your personal limits. Seeing the object of your caring is best done up close. That is why I care most about those closest to me.

I don't obsess about things that maybe 40 years ago I used to. Trying to be something you'r not can cause lots of heartache. Not trying to be your best can be as bad. I try to be my best. I don't obsess over it. I know I have faults. I also know life and self improvement are journies not destinations. You know what the world did to the perfict one.

I will say that at least you are honest. There is nothing wrong being sarcastic or people taking your comment the wrong way. But I think you should be concerned with your fellow man, maybe not to the measure that they are concerned.

I don't find myself in feeling like this. If there is a tragedy it effects me. If someone is hurt it can bother me. It may not make me react the say way as they do, but it can bother me. I can use 911 for an example. I know I may get some thumbs down for this, but that don't bother me. When 911 happened I was worried or it didn't move me to tears. I felt bad for the families that lost their lives. But it didn't make me hate the terrorist. I wanted the terrorist to be held responsible for the actions. I didn't rejoice when the assassinated Laden. He was killed as part of the war, he was assassinated. I think that make the US just as guilty as he was. They went in with the intent to kill him. I believe in my heart he could have been taken in alive. They wanted him dead.

As I have gotten older I find myself more of a caring person about all people. Of course my family first then others.

Edit:

I think I understand what you mean. I think that is completely acceptable way to view things. Others will feel differently, but that is okay. I recall when Princess Diana died in the car accident. My heart went out for her, family, and country. But personally I think people go overboard. They built a shrine near the accident. People still go there yearly. Some take off every year on that date to visit the location. They aren't related to her. But people handle grief differently. I believe they should let it go. It has been years.

@Jago

Don't worry about other having something against you. Just be you. If you were in the Psychology box you would be labeled as in introvert. I don't like to label people.

Do you really not care? ...or are you just one of those people who lets things happen and you are OK with it rather than try to control everything and everybody and try to change things and fight everything.

I bet if someone asked you for help you would help if you could. That is caring. i bet you would defend your family. That is caring too.

As I get older I get much more 'Taiji'. I go with the flow, let things happen without fighting everything and wanting my way every time and I am OK with it. Many things that I though were important really are not. Go to China and live in the country for a while where people really have nothing. It is sobering and you won't come back the same. I let many things go and I adjust. But I do care about things that are important to me, my family, my values, my martial arts, etc and I would fight for those. I think I just got smarter as I got older and figured out what is important in life.

I'm surprised you asked this in a public forum. but since you asked I have to say this has taken me by total surprise. If you really mean this, then, I am concerned about your mental wellbeing. We all have periods in life when we are less sensitive to others needs. But if we simply stay in that frame of mind, something is wrong. Only you can tell if that is the case. I am not judging you, just stating what i know to be realistic.

Speaking for myself, I can say that as I get older my values have changed and continue to do so. Material things become less important. Family and friends become increasingly more important. I find that others situations, and lives effect me more and more. I see this not as something to be avoided. I see it as becoming the caring person that I should always have been. We tend to let day to day things blind us from what is really important. My hope is this will make you think about your life and what is and is not important.

All the Best!

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Yes, sort of. I'm an animal lover, not a people lover. People are the way they are by choice. If they cross me, they're off my christmas list. I don't care to ever see them again. But for the majority of others, I go out of my way to extend a hand if they ask: I've lent or given money, let them stay in my (small) house for a few months, taught them martial arts or some life skill, or paid for their boy scout summer camps.

I do that because when I was a young child, someone did that for my family and I have spent my life paying that forward. So in that sense, I do care for others. But, if they don't open up to me, I don't go looking for them. I'll drink a beer and listen to their life problems of divorce, cancer, death, and job loss.

So I'm empathetic to their plight, but not a nosy busybody.

EDIT:

By the way... If you didn't really care, why do you answer people's questions here?

EDIT: @OC, you are right... I am a firm believer that one cannot teach until one has first taught. It sounds ironic, but, in our martial arts endeavors (trying to keep the subject relevant ;-) we mentor the juniors, and then as we become more experienced - black belt, for instance - we are given more significant responsibilities, like teaching small groups or even whole classes. This, in turn, allows us to see what are the typical stumbling blocks a student goes through. This forces us to re-examine what we thought we already knew. In time, we are expected to foresee those stumbling blocks, and address them as we become more proficient in teaching. A teacher, therefore, becomes more knowledgeable because of the knowledge s/he has instilled in others, and not so much by how much knowledge s/he himeself has garnered. Ironic, again, yes?

Taking this philosophy further... is it possible to care for onself without caring for others? I think maybe we may become more choosey about whom we care for, but unless one is clinically a sociopath, I think then you haven't yet found out who that small minority of people it is that you do care for.