my girlfriends mother hates me?

Question

I woke up this morning to a letter from my girlfriend's mother telling me she does not approve of our relationship and that she does not want to lose her daughter and that i should brake up with her. she said in the letter not to tell my gf she had sent it but i told her anyway because i wanted to talk to her about it and i always talk to her when there are problems going on. we are engaged! her mother thinks if we marry she will run off with me and forget about her and that is not that case! i love this girl very much and i don't want her to lose her family to be with me...i even thought about braking up with her because i don't want to come between her and her family. But i decided that we are very in love and we will marry and i am selfish and can't be without her. we talked and i feel better and she talked to her mom but i still feel bad about the whole situation and i don't know what to do. 
any advice? i really don't want to hurt anyone.

? · Accepted Answer

Not really, she just feels threatened by you - I'm assuming she is somewhat dependent on your girl for support, emotional or financial; maybe she's jealous, or needy, or cannot sustain herself without her.

People act rashly when they're afraid, and don't always mean what they say or do, then, so try not to let her letter get under your skin.

You could try keeping contact with her, visiting her often, with her daughter, so that she will see that she's not going to be abandoned - this, however, would require some effort on your part, besides making her further dependent.
Though, if you play it right, you can also get closer to your girl this way, as you display concern for her well-being as well as her mothers'.

An alternative is to allow distance between mother and daughter to settle in naturally, having your girl visit or contact her mother on her own initiative, and hoping that her mother will grow out of her dependence as her contact with her daughter is reduced gradually.
If you choose this course of action, make sure to treat your girl as well as you can, so that you two will stay close emotionally.

Your choice.

Analyze the situation with your mind, but choose with your heart.

Anonymous · Answer

That's moms problem not yours, don't say anything or fight with her. That is what she wants, don't play her game. The two of you have to do this and work on your relationship with each other. Your big girls now and you have to do what it takes to be happy.

? · Answer

Her mom needs to mind her own business.

ҤҾḶḶ ḶᶖҾڴ ὣᶖţħᶖת · Answer

Tell her to piss off your adults.

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my girlfriends mother hates me?

4 Answers