If you believe in gravity, how do you explain this?

Gravitationalists, I have proof of Intelligent Falling and proof of FSM's love. You can't deny it.

The reason we all don't fly off into space due to the earth's spinning (you've been on a tilt-a-whirl, right?) is that his sauciness the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER is holding us down lovingly with his noodly appendage. FSM is holding us down with exactly the perfect amount of loving force that it doesn't hurt us yet we can jump and run around as though we were free. Only FSM could calculate precisely the amount of force to use for each of us. (Lets see your so called gravity do that!) Yet your 'scientists' and gravititionalists deny FSM's love and worship the man who invented gravity, Newton!

But I have proof that you are wrong and that it is FSM holding us down!

Do you not see how when you get tired your head starts to feel heavy? This is due to FSM pushing down on us a little harder to tell us we should go to sleep. It's like FSM is trying to tuck you in! How does gravity know you're tired?

Why do you deny FSM's love?