Should an eight year old have unlimited access to the refrigerator?

Depends on her behavior. My nine and seven year old sons and 13 year old sister in law (we have custody of her) have unlimited access to the refrigerator, but they know the rules. Only one snack between meals and no snacks within an hour of mealtimes, so its not like the are continuously eating junk food. Plus, we dont have much junk around the house anyway. They know that if they abuse this trust and start eating a ton of junk before meals, they will have to ask from then on. Its never been a problem. Our 5 and 4 year old daughters still have to ask since they are too little to really make good choices about food and know when they can and cant have it and what they can and cant have, so its just easier if they ask.

I think she knows when she's hungry and as long as she knows what's okay to snack on (because you do have ingredients for a recipe) and you don't buy things you don't want your family eating then there's no reason she should have to ask before getting a snack. My son is only two years old but already I will put together a "snack bowl" for him with different options in it and he can pick whatever he wants whenever he needs a snack. At eight years old she's old enough to tell time and you can give her the control to decide that if you eat at 6 pm every evening, maybe it'd be a good idea to not have a snack at 5:30 pm, kids aren't dumb, let her have some control.

I agree with you. My children are 8, 7, 5, 4 and 9 months. Never have I allowed them to snack whenever they please. They have to ask first because the food I buy is allotted for meals and snacks and if they eat something I planned to use for something else, I won't have it for that. Plus, like you, I want my children hungry for the nutritious meals I serve rather than filling up on snack food and not eating a well-balanced meal. I'm sure your daughter doesn't feel like a guest in her home. If you've had this type of monitoring set up since she was young, she's used to it and probably thinks nothing of it. My kids don't. They just come and ask if they're hungry and tell me what they want to eat. If it's too close to meal time or something I don't want them to eat, I tell them no and they're on their way. Plus, monitoring what they eat teaches them to make good food choices and helps to keep them away from childhood obesity.

My kids naturally ask before they take something out of the fridge/cupboard. I think it is because I told them to ask before they took snacks - depending on what they ate for the day or when I was going to have dinner ready, I wanted to moniter it (they are 5 and 9). I think it's funny when they ask for like, an apple. I tried to explain that as long as it is "good" food and not icecream, I don't care what they eat but they still ask. Anyway - you do what feels right for your family and don't worry about the FIL.

I think that it's your child and your house and you should have the right to set the rules. I don't think it's a bad idea for her to ask before getting something to eat (especially at her age), I always did as a kid. If you typically say yes, as long as it isn't close to mealtimes, then it's not like she going to start feeling like you are restricting her, and if she's used to it, then she isn't going to feel like a guest, shejust sees is at just a normal part of life.

If you are very worried, then you could put a bowl of fruit and veggies in the fridge and tell her she is welcome to eat the food in those bowls without asking permission (as long as it isn't near mealtime), but she should ask if she want's something else just to make sure it isn't being saved or used for something.

I have an 8 year old and an 7 year old and YES they ask me every time they want to get something from the fridge, although it's only always ever a yoghurt for pudding. No snacks.

My kids usually ask because they have no clue if it's close to lunch or dinner. If they start asking for junk food then I know that they need to eat real food first.

My son is 7 and my daughter is 2. I also, keep junk food on the top of the fridge where they can't just grab it and eat it all day.

My son is pretty good about eating right. Sometimes my daughter will ask for junk and I will offer some to my son and he will say no thanks.

I think you are right!

You are doing the right thing. I always had to ask my mom until I was about 12, because kids do silly things like eat ice cream until they get sick or snack on carrot sticks while practicing cart wheels and choke. You are doing the right thing. Ask your husband to tell his father to mind his own business. But say it respectfully, you don't want your husband to think you hate his father. It is better if your husband can say it to his father instead of you, otherwise it'll probably start a big, dumb argument.

No- I'm 13 and as far as I know, no child of my age or younger in England has unlimited access to their fridge. There is a reason that parents control their diet- so they can stay healthy! Also to set an example of what to eat and what not to eat. Your kids should be able to take fruit or yoghurt when they want, but not near meatimes and that's it. Xx

Should your daughter also set her own bedtime, her own alarm for in the mornings, tv time, bath time, and go out whenever she pleases? The obvious answer is no. The reason parents set boundaries for kids is to teach them how to set their own boundaries as they grow up. At eight, most children still need some guidance with knowing when and what to eat. My children (8 and 5) tell me if they want a snack, and I get them one if it's not too close to mealtime. I don't see it as a major inconvenience to get food for my children. Studies have shown that this helps to teach better dietary choices and control when the child gets older.