Why are my parent refusing to accept my black boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating over 3 years now (I'm white his black), for the 1st year my parents didn't know that we were dating because they prohibited me dating a black guy. I fell in love with my boyfriend so deeply that we want to get married soon. My mom use to talk to him, sms and call him after figuring out that we were into each other she completely cut him out the picture and refuses us to be together. I told her that i really love him, and that we love each other but she doesn't want us to be together because his black. Every time i go out she asks to many questions, who you going with?, where you going? and i just say friends, because if i tell her i'm going to see my boyfriend she won't let me leave the house.I'm now 24 and i feel as if im 15 again. She's trying her hardest to break us up, literally she's tried everything. She said i must tell my dad and i did and he also took it really bad, as if im dating a animal. He cries and screams because he cant believe that i'm dating a black guy. My mom has anxiety attacks because of this issue. They can't see that i love him. When i tell my mom that i love him, she says that it disgusts her, she tells me that I don't even know what love is. My mom keeps telling me if I carry on in this relationship that my father's going to kill himself and she will never forgive me.She also says im going to break 27 years of marriage. She say's very bad things about my boyfriend call's him bad names etc. It's so hard living in this house with this atmosphere, everyone is against our relationship. My boyfriend told his parents about us and they really happy and willing to support us.My parents said if i choose my boyfriend they will dis own me and i won't have a family anymore. We really trying our hardest for my parents to accept my boyfriend, but they refuse all because his black and i'm white. I really need help, I love my family they are the best family i could ask for but i really love my boyfriend to, my man of my dreams. If my parents could just accept his colour everything would be ok. My mom swore that she will refuse to attend our wedding.

Update:

Thank you for your wonderful comments, yes they are racist and when i tell them they are they say they not imagine that? I told my mom that she will lose me if she continue's being this way then she said let's see who's going to come running back.I tried looking for help and i was really disappointed because the psychologist i went to promised not to say anything to no one and she actually went telling my mom everything believe or not. So right now i don't have any help except from my best friend and God.That's what i thought but right now i just finished my degree so looking for a job, maybe i could even move out when i'm financial stable.The reason why my parent's don't want me to be with him, is because his black and they think his a typical black south African which his not.Yes they do get bad reputations and think that all black people are the same it irritates me.My mom said if she knew this was coming she wouldn't allow me to be friends with

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hi Jess! i just want you to know that i am in the same boat you are in me and my boyfriend have been together for a longtime (im white he's black) and my parents don't like the thought or the idea of us being together but they have accepted the fact that we are in love. What i am trying to say is your parents will eventually come around even if it is years later they are your parents and they love you they just want whats best for you for years i have been criticized by my parents and they basically said i was ruining my life and my financial future.. But anyways do whats best for you your parents will not always be there for your decisions whether they like them or not. FOLLOW YOUR HEART :) i did and i couldn't be happier <3 best wishes and if you ever need to talk inbox me! P.S. it took my parents 2 years to partially except the fact that we are in love and that we are planning on getting married

Jere · Answer

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Why are my parent refusing to accept my black boyfriend?
My boyfriend and I have been dating over 3 years now (I&#39;m white his black), for the 1st year my parents didn&#39;t know that we were dating because they prohibited me dating a black guy. I fell in love with my boyfriend so deeply that we want to get married soon. My mom use to talk to him, sms...

Jason · Answer

This is sad to hear,
Listen, People... SPECIALLY parents wont agree with what you do in life.. and its in this moment that you have to take a stand and unfortunately choose. You have to remember that this life you are living is ENTIRELY YOURS... You are an adult capable of making your own decisions, If they cant agree with that well this a problem that is ENTIRELY theirs and should NOT concern YOU no matter what they say.
I suggest you look for help, talk to a psychologist about this... You will need all the help you can get dealing with the comments and psychological abuse you will be receiving. It shouldn't matter if they dis own you from the family... start a new life and make a NEW family. Don't make the same mistakes your parents did and don't raise your kids(in the future) in an environment like this.

Confused~Girl · Answer

They're racist and you are following your heart and there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing wrong is how your parents are handling this and treating you. By saying things like you'll ruin 27 years of marriage and all that is unacceptable. The only people ruining anything is them and their racism. I feel like it would be more of a loss to them than to you if they dis owned you. Hate is cancerous and that is all they seem to have for your boyfriend, your soul mate. And it will be the hardest decision you will have to make but you need to choose. This whole situation breaks my heart and I'm sixteen. 2012 and there's still problems in the world like this, pity. I wish you the best, sincerely.

? · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

I for one would say that I am slightly racist, I'm sorry but it's true. But if this guy is nice and he treats you well, **** your parents and go marry him. You are 24. There are really nice black people too

? · Answer

I'm sorry... My parents are like that. If you truly care about him then go for it. If you're parents are like that then you should ignore them because they should except what you love. Just try to convince them that he is amazing and not always into trouble. Follow your heart no matter what anyone thinks... it's your life. Live it the way you want

? · Answer

Every parent has different beliefs. And black people get bad reputations! For example i was in South Central and a lady in a bus told me,"hide your phone and iPod. You know what kind of area youre in" Her point was that some blak dude might come up to me and steal my stuff! Understand me?

Orla C · Answer

You're 24, you can see who you like.

If he's a good man, what does it matter what his skin colour is? 

Call their bluff, marry him, and live your life. Do not let their bigoted, racist attitude ruin your happiness. And DON'T cave to their emotional blackmail.

? · Answer

you should tell your mother that this kind of things is called discrimination. they cant stay like this their whole life, they should be openminded and you have to tell them that its your choice after all, you're the one who's going to live with this person for the rest of your life, not them. you should talk to your mother quietly and try to convince her with arguments like: its your life blabla, and if she wants you to be happy, then you found happiness with this person, that they should accept other people and not to be racist, they cant judge the book from its title, they should get to know your bf and then they can judge him, tell her that he's amazing and to give him a chance to get to know him better and then to judge him. goodluck with your parents and i hope that im helping you with my arguments

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Why are my parent refusing to accept my black boyfriend?

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