Does friends with benefits ever work?

Question

Okay, so one of my best friends is a guy. We're really close (although we argue a lot) and have known each other for about two years. There has never been anything romantic about our relationship, although he often tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful or that I look good in certain outfits. Anyway, we were sharing a portion of chips at lunch today and when I had one chip sort of half in my mouth he bit the other half, and we ended up having a bit of a kiss. We haven't really talked about it, since. I definitely don't want a full on relationship right now, and I'm pretty sure he's still in love with his ex. So my question is whether or not it could work if we did the friends with benefits thing. I think he'd like the idea, but I don't want to lose him as a friend and I don't want messy feelings in the way!

Lol, what do you think I should do?

Kes · Accepted Answer

Well of course he'd like it, gets all the benefits without the commitment or having to stay faithful. I personally wouldn't because you could end up getting more and more feelings for him and he might not want to change the situation he'd have then. Plus, would you honestly want to hook up and have sex with a guy who could be doing that to any other girl at the same time as you? This sort of thing really can ruin a friendship.

? · Answer

Many people will probably tell you that friends with benefits does not work. I had a situation like this during my freshman year of college, and despite what everyone told me, it worked out great. We had our fun and now are both in separate relationships and remain friends.
The only way something like that could possibly work is if you are SURE that romantic feelings will not get involved. If they do, and he is still in love with his ex, you will end up heartbroken and your friendship will be ruined. There really is no way to be 100% sure that you will not catch feelings for this guy (or that he will not fall for you), so it kind of comes down to: Is this a risk you are willing to take? How important is this friendship to you? Could you see yourself falling in love with him? 
Sorry if this is not a definitive "yes or no" answer, but hopefully this gets you closer to your decision. Good luck!

? · Answer

Just do whatever. If you are friends with him and never have the benefits you will feel as though you wish you had them and if you do have them you will feel like **** if the relationship goes sour and your regular relationship worsens. But then again who knows what may happen in any situation. No one can tell the future. You have to make the decision yourself. Thats what life is about.

Jasmine · Answer

if you want him to remain your friend and not another boy, then don't cross that line. He is your friend for a reason and not a boyfriend for another. Once that line is crossed you can not go back and the friendship might be ruined after that.

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Does friends with benefits ever work?

4 Answers