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Why does it bother me so much that my fiance's so secretive?

we've been together a year now, in the first six months of our relationship he was in love with a girl that he had been in love with for 3 years previous of us meeting. But when we got together he was still inlove with her. I had no idea, i honestly thought they were just friends. i had no problem with him having female friends, but being in love with someone else, and stating that he is in love with me as well, hurt.

He's incredibly secretive, hates if i kid about wanting to know his passwords to different things. I honestly only ever joke and i say it in my playful and happy joking tone. He knows i am, but freaks out if i ask about knowing passwords.

He has lied to me, i still am not completely over the fact he was in love with this other girl.

But no he is very secretive, and hides so much from me.

Does anyone know how to get over both of these?

Update:

to clarify. they were never in a relationship, he just loved her. And she used him. She was a c*ck Tease.

6 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    When you begin a relationship in secrecy you begin on a long tedious journey of deceit, drama, and ********. I don't know how to get over those things, but I certainly know how to avoid them. Dump him

  • sonata
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    why are you so mistrustful of him? he had a right to be in love with someone and obviously the love wasn't returned or he wouldn't have dated and found you. he now loves you and that's really all you should be concerned with. i doubt he has feelings for this other person. is he the first person you've been in love with? if you had loved someone else who didn't reciprocate the feeling and he asked you out what would you have done... not gone out? i think you should lighten up a little. re passwords... does he know all of yours? some people just like to keep things to themselves and passwords is one of those things which i think is smart. lighten up and enjoy your life; don't get so downtrodden with minutia, don't look at him thru a microscope, neither of you is perfect.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Do yourself a favor and don't marry this man. You will be saving yourself a lot of grief down the road. The secrets he has now will only increase after you get married. You already said he has lied to you and you know he is holding a torch for his ex. I can't marry second place, and I don't trust liars and secretive men.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Your controlling. I hope he sees this and leaves you. you should have respected him better. Give him space and time beech.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    He's boinking somebody else on the side.

  • 9 years ago

    he has something to hide that's why it bothers you.

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