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Could you love a child that is not biologically your child as much as a child that is yours?

I ask this question because yesterday our class was having a debate at uni. My lecturer has one biological child, two step children and is pregnant. She said to be honest she doesn't love her step children, she likes them but never will as much as she loves her own.

I'm 20, I don't have any children. So I can't comment on how a love for a biological child is more than another. But I was very much brought up to believe biological blood doesn't matter, it is the family you have and the people you surround yourself with.

So my question is what do you think? Do men and women have different opinions? What is it like for people who foster and adopt?

Thank :) x

15 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a step-daughter and a biological son, and yes I do love my son more. I think that is pretty normal though. I mean I gave birth to that little boy, he is a part of me... I don't honestly know how it would be possible to not love the little life that I made more. It might sound bad or mean but it isn't, typically it is natural. I think where it gets mean or bad is when you show the kids you have that you love one more than the other. As far as my daughter will ever know I love her just as much as I love her brother. Just to clarify, I love my son more, yes, however I LOVE the crap out of my daughter. I do agree with your teacher that it is hard to love a child that isn't yours biologically more or as much as you love your own, but I do think it is possible to still LOVE a child that is not biologically yours.

  • 9 years ago

    Most won't like my answer and I'll probably get "thumbs-down" for this, but no. You will not love a child that is NOT biologically yours as much or in the same way as a child that IS biologically yours.

    This is not to suggest that you will not love a step-child at all, or that you will behave more favorably towards your biological children than your step-children. And it might be so subtle or so subconcious that no one may realize it, not even yourself.

    Biology doesn't define "family", but it does make a difference.

  • 9 years ago

    I do believe that your gonna get several different answers to your question. I can answer from my own experiences. I am a father of six children. Two are adopted from my wife's first marriage. Her natural children and I adopted them. One was 4 years old and the other was 2 years old. I have heard well known therapists say that you can not love a adopted child as much as your own child. This however this not my experience in my life.I do love all my children and they're are no difference between them. My love is the same for all of them. Honestly it makes me a little angry to hear people say one can not love step children as much as natural children. No one in my family is here or will they ever see this. With this said I wanted you to know it is my honest feelings.

    Source(s): 49 years of life and 29 years of parenting
  • 9 years ago

    You can love adopted children if you do not have any kids of your own and adopting one from a small child but if you have your own children they will always be loved more. If you consider the people that foster kids for several years and then the kid get removed from their home they will love the child but will eventually get over it when the child leaves but if that was there own child that was removed they would never stop loving them.

    Source(s): Mum & Grandma
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  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I don't foster or adopt, but I did teach for 18 years. Over that period of time I came to love a number of children, and if I had taken many of them home as my own to raise, I would have loved them like my biological children.

  • I think it depends on the person, but I have 2 friends whom are adopted. 1 of my friends, she is their only daughter and adopted, they have no other children, but my other friend is adopted and his adoptive parents have 2 biological children, but they love him too very much and he's like their biological son. They don't have favourites or favour their biological son, and I think it does depend. In the future, I'd like to have my own child and adopted a child, and I believe you do love your adopted child as much xoxo

  • Orange
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I think it varies from person to person. If you don't have biological children then I'd say it's easy but if you do then it can be hard to separate. I know people say blood doesn't matter but the bond you have with your own child is hard to match. For me personally, being completely honest I don't think I could love someone elses child as much as my own.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    To be honest I think it depends on how long the step-parent has known the children. Like if they met them from like the age of 3 say, and played a big role in bringing them up then they will probably have a stronger bond.

    On the other hand I was already 11 when I met my stepdad and we haven't always got on, we've had some very serious fights and arguments and it has put a lot of stress on my mum.

  • A
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I'm pretty sure I would not love a step child as much as my own but I don't have any step children so I couldn't say 100%.

  • 9 years ago

    Personally,I have one son and no step children so I don't know. But I have a step mum who I consider my mother and she loves me like her own. But then my step dad hates me and I hate him therefore I don't associate myself with him or my biological mother. Another example, I have a friend who only knows her step dad as a father cause her real dad died of a heartattack when her mum was pregnant. Then you have Eminem who obviously loves all three of his daughters very much. So in situations,yes.

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