How to catch a cheating law enforcement type spouse?

If the relationship is over, as you say. Why would you even bother wanting another 'nail in the coffin'. You are not the bad guy if you want to be happy and get out of a relationship that is not working.

The adult way to do it is to sit down and calmly talk to your spouse and let him know how you feel and that you have to move on. If he's as unhappy as you, it will be a relief for him too.

Realize that the relationship is already over you are just prolonging your pain. You don't need proof, you know how you feel.

Good luck and hope for a happier life.

I can't imagine what kind of department 'locks' a cellphone. Especially a private one and not one department issued. A cellphone is only locked by the holder.

In my 30 years on the job (we didn't have cellphones until 1990 and even then they were the military-size radio types) even the Nextels issued by the department in much later years were not 'locked'. They were used a regular phones although you limited calls because the department was charged for calls incoming and outgoing.

So....how long has been on the job? Is the in patrol?...Detectives?, Narcotics? Vice? How large is the department? Many factors to take into consideration here.

Unless there was a murder or another major crime....I was always called at home first on the land line. Cell phones (and when we had them before cells) pagers would go off and you'd call in to find out what was going on. Several times dinner was interrupted with friends because I was called out but for the most part it wasn't a call to the cell and off you went.

However cops...especially dumb ones....love giving their phone numbers to badge bunnies. What they don't realize is that sooner or later not only do these holster sniffers destroy your marriage but that you end up becoming embroiled in an Internal Affairs investigation that lands you in hot water. Most of the coppers I knew that hooked up with these types found that 99% of them are psycho broads who are just into the macho-uniform and gun belt wearing authority thing. All too many cops fall for that....and usually find them in bars...coffee shops or they'll purposely speed down the road hoping to get stopped and then laying on the 'Hello Officer....you know you look hot in that uniform" routine.

I don't think you necessarily need proof. If it isn't working out just go for alienation of affection and get the divorce done and over with. My wife put up with late nights out and long hours (coming home to shower and get into a fresh shirt and tie) for 30 years. Actually my last 10 were in administration so I was usually home at a decent hour each night. plus....if you are smart enough to look and see that 'badge bunny equals divorce...alimony..loss of house...loss of kids...loss of 1/2 pension and maybe a disease where your old kielbasa shrivels up, turns black and hits the linoleum....you concentrate on your job and not the tail wagging cop lovers.

Why put the nail in the coffin when you know the dead guy inside is dead? Please reread what you wrote , many times we answer our own questions in a hurried frenzy looking for the answer, it's not a relationship if there is no trust, and I wouldn't trust that behavior either, super sneaky and doesn't matter if he is supposed to be an upstanding law inforcement person or not people hide behind their jobs just as this man seems to be doing. best of luck I would get outta there before the last nail. less heartbreak.

He's probably secretive because of his job. If you don't think the relationship is working either way, either get professional help or skip right to the divorce. If he's already to blame for the troubles in your marriage, no one will care if you will seem like the bad guy if you break up with him.

Johnny funds - Folsom penal complex Blues Bob Marley - I Shot the Sheriff Ini Kamoze - call the Police Bruce Springsteen - street Patrolman Randy Newman - Jolly Coppers on Parade :)

put spy ware on his computer and higher a pi or rent a car.