Depressed, closeted, unemployed. Advice?

Question

Well, firstly: I have come to accept the fact that I am gay, but I am finding it extremely difficult to come out to my family and friends. I feel I am ready to but I just cannot get myself to that point of actually doing it. Okay, I have actually come out to my one gay friend, but he knew it anyway. I was drunk one night and sent him a message. I don't regret it, but I do not want to come out to everyone while hammered.

Secondly: I recently finished my architectural studies but almost failed due to my weak final design project (because of the aforementioned mental battle over my sexuality). I am currently searching for a job but it is not going well. I am for the time being back at my parents' house in a small town where I am completely separated from my friends. I find the lack of a general support/friendship group very painful. I even tried attending the local church (regrettably) and found no 'divine answers' or anyone my age/mindset/sexuality. This is really taking a toll on my self-confidence, health and general sanity. Picking up bloody weight as well.

I think my difficulty in finding a job may stem from my reluctance to accept who I am- a sort of mental block I suppose. Actually, I do not even really know who I am anymore. 

So I think I know how to progress, but I do not feel as if I have a support system to help me through.

Your thoughts/advice?

Thanks!

LSBN · Accepted Answer

I think you're trying to do too many things at once.

My best piece of advice is to allow yourself the time and space to figure these things out at a reasonable pace.

Get a job, any job and start saving money. As soon as you get enough money saved up, move to a city with good prospects for architectural design (normally a decent sized city)

Once there get a job any job(waiter, bartender) then start shopping around your Portfolio.  

Get out and meet other young people with similar interest, find the local LGBT community center and get involved.

You'll soon figure the rest out from there.


Good luck.



L

evaohell · Answer

About the job situation...bite the bullet and get a job not related to your field of study...then when you are employed...you'll have a calmer mind when searching for the job you actually want. Temp agencies are great ways to get your foot in the door. I landed a job at a major computer gaming company thorugh a temp agency...I worked that temp job until they had no choice but to hire me on perm and I stayed there for 6 years until I found something better and that paid more.

Yeah, working in a cube for 8-10 hours a day is no fun, but having money in your pocket and peace of mind is. Take care of one thing and the others fall into place.

As to your sexuality, if it bothers you so much to come out, don't. Nothing says you have to and it sounds like doing so will be more of a hassle for you then staying cloeted. Besides, staying in the closet doesn't have to be permanent...get a job, heal your mind, take your time, then come out...

Lucius Cross · Answer

Ignore Zell Paris. He's an idiot. 

You have to first accept the fact that you like men. After that you have to accept that there will be those around you that will not accept it. Relationships will either strengthen or break. From this acceptance comes reflection. You will realize that being attracted to men does not affect you as a human being in any way. And then you have to recognize that you can either give in to your current obstacles or you can rise above them. The last choice will determine the level of your success in life.

? · Answer

wouldnt know about coming out to parenst or family but the good news for us is that workplaces arent alowed to discriminate

Anonymous · Answer

you should never accept the fact that you like it up the tail pipe, and no one is going to hire a guy they have to watch out for at the urinals

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Depressed, closeted, unemployed. Advice?

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