how to deal with very difficult daughter in law?

its a tough situation to be in. But I'm sure you love your son very much and as a mother all you can do is support and love him and his family. This includes his new family. Your daughter in law has probably had a tough life and all she needs now is a mother to love and care for her. Your family sounds very harmonious and perhaps this ideal is what attracted her to you son. Be the mother that supports and loves her and the children.

If only your son could have met a nice girl from a nice family! If only she would change and stop you feeling embarrassed! If only her family could be more like us!

It's obvious that you're not overly pleased at his choice of wife. Don't you think she picks up on this? Don't you think she notices how you refer to 'her three children' and not 'my three grandchildren'?

You're doing the right things practically, but have not embraced her emotionally or psychologically. Maybe you never will - don't feel guilty about this if you can't, but she will pick up on this and it will spiral downhill.

Have another go at embracing her and the kids fully. If it doesn't work, then back off: be there if needed but gemnerally keep out and keep away.

Good luck.

every mother who has a son faces a problem like this. I am not saying you are right or wrong. but i can say from my own experience my mother in law did not like me from day one. She nit picked on my hair my clothes, my neices my nephew my mother my sister... id known and loved her son for 15 years before we got married. she called me up the night before my wedding to tell me that we needed to move the wedding from her house to somewhere else because there were going to be too much of my family there... well she eventually got her way and my husband left me. so before you go blaming everything on this girl, why dont you try getting to know her apart from your son. invite her to lunch, and find out her story. you might find out that you have more in common than the fact that you both love your son. im willing to bet that she knows exactly what you are thinking and is resentful and hurt. I hope you can get past this i truly do because after all isnt the most important thing that she is good to your son? good luck to you

Did you ever stop to think that mabe you are the one who needs to change? What may seem as disfunctional to you might be normal to her. Her bad attitude may come from the fact that she knows how you feel about her and her family. Stop judging her and take some time to get to know her..You just might like her..

smile and keep your mouth shut. Treat all grandkids equal.

Do not show or express embarrassment at family functions. Everyone already knows you did not raise her or her children and are therefore not responsible for their behavior.

It's hard to argue with those who will not engage in arguement.

Stop thinking about her family. Stop thinking about her past issues. I would forgive and forget. You will have to learn to accept the things you cannot change

Don't become like my family. I have 150 people i am never aloud to see or talk to and it makes me sad. Please forget what they did to you grow up be the bigger person. It doesn't just stop you from watching her kids grow up but you are also not giving it your all. Like seriously i hate that my family is across the world and that i will never talk to them. Nor see them and it sucks cause i bumped into my dads aunt once...And talk about weird i didn't know the lady and she told me she new me. Just talk to her

Just keep doing what you are doing because there really is nothing else you can do otherwise.

what you are already doing, maybe she will eventually come around

Outlaws are wanted, in-laws are not...